Hotdog & Friends

by Constable Echelon

Welcome to day one of the Jake Locker era. Welcome to Day One of the Jake Locker Era. That’s better. Seems like a minor change of capitalization between those two sentences, no? That’s the point of this little exercise. There are no small changes on a day like today.

At the risk of understating things: everything you do or don’t do today has a direct effect on the Huskies’ performance on the field later tonight. And I mean everything. Everything. Capiche?

This phenomenon manifests itself chiefly in two areas: food/alcohol consumption, and clothing.

Food/Alcohol:
You might think I’m talking about what you eat immediately prior to or during the game, right? Now that is important, but your personal Husky fan audit should start with today’s breakfast at the minimum. Day one of the season is easy. Just keep track of what you eat. If next week against Boise you would like to see us run the ball a little more or tighten up the screws in the secondary, adjust your meals and take note of the results. By weeks three or four you should have a good idea what foods equate to what areas of performance on the field.

Now with alcohol it is important to remember this: you can drink the Huskies to victory. You’re going to want to stick with an easy drinkin’ domestic brew today. The Dawgs aren’t out of the woods yet as a program, and as such it’s going to take more than a couple Fat Tires to push the local eleven on to victory. Miller Light, Bud Light, Coors if you must, maybe Natural Light, Keystone, or one of the Busches in a pinch. You may elect to augment this with a shot of tequila for a particularly big play. Consider that your special blitz package, or triple reverse whoopdy-do to be used as you see fit. Whatever you do, leave it all out there on the field.

Clothing:
Almost more important than what you consume is what you choose to wear. Any self respecting Dawg fan ought to have amassed almost unlimited combinations of Husky clothes and accessories. What’s most important is what you put on your torso. Is it time to audit your lucky shirt? Only you can answer that question and I’m not going to get into that. Most of us still have a shirt that featured during the Tuiasosopo era. That ought to do quite nicely. Your most important sartorial decisions have to do with accessories. Pay attention to any hat or wristband combinations during the game and their effect on the next play. Take off a shoe. Pull up a pant leg. It’s like adjusting the antennae on an old television, there is optimum performance only when things are just so.

The point of this is that there are no small changes, and that you have a direct effect. Play your cards right personally and in the group dynamic, and we could be listening to Mercier sing our victory song later on tonight. Bow Down.

When we last saw our heroes.

This entry was posted on Friday, August 31st, 2007 at 7:57 am and is filed under , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.