Australian Rules Football
For some reason I have found myself wondering aimlessly around
I have watched around six Aussie rules games since I’ve been here so I consider myself somewhat of an expert in the international community. I won’t bore you with the actual “rules” but here is the basic concept: There are 18 players from each team on a giganticness oval field which is roughly twice the size of an American football field. The game is played with what looks like a large over inflated football that you would give a retard to play with, somewhat fitting. The goal is to kick the football between 4 straight poles, if you get between the middle two you get 6 points if it goes between the outer sets it is worth 1 point. Once the ball is in play whoever has it runs around while people try to tackle him.
The only weird thing here is that he has to bounce the ball on the ground every 15 seconds. The guy who has the ball has three options he can just run around and kick the ball through the goal himself. He can also punch the ball to one of his players. For some reason you are not allowed to throw the ball so you’re forced to punch the ball to transfer it. If he doesn’t find the football punch to his liking he has the final option of kicking the ball to a teammate. If the person happens to catch the ball and it was over 15 meters they get a free kick. That’s called a mark and seems to be how most of the goals are scored. Some guy will make a jumping catch and then punt the ball through the uprights. Though I have to admit it sounds very silly and slightly gay it is actually pretty enjoyable to watch.
Here is a video to give you a little taste of the action:
Australian Rules Football vs. American Football
What Australians Call it: Footy Gridiron (I really wish they would stop calling it that)
What Americans Call it: Rugby Football
Top League: AFL Premiership NFL
Best Player: Jimmy Bartel LaDainian Tomlinson
Happiest football moment:
Semifinals: I am sitting in a bar in Geelong watching the game between the Geelong Cats and the Collingwood Magpies. I was getting as drunk as I possible could on $5 six-ounce beers while trying to get back at the bar by vigorously rooting against Geelong. At the end of the game I got the most delicious nachos I have ever had in my life. Those nachos are actually the only good thing that has happened to me during an Aussie rules football game. Every game I have watched I have spent money I don’t have on beer I can’t afford and the team I supported has got their ass kicked. God those nachos were good though.
Being at the Seattle Seahawks 2006 NFC champions game vs. the Panthers. I don’t remember much after the game except trying to leading drunken mob in an attempt to jump on the field only to have my dreams once again thwarted by the police.
My most memorable disappointment:
My beloved Port Adelaide Power gets destroyed by those fucking assholes the Geelong Cats 163-44 in the Grand Final last Saturday (9/29).
The Seattle Seahawks get the Super Bowl stolen from them along with the 500 dollars I wagered on them. I spent the rest of the evening on the most destructive bender of the entire 2006 drinking bender season.
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Well that’s it. We found something less relevant than Winner’s soccer columns.
Corey, I sent you FFL trade proposal.
mate, this is a pretty pathetic article.
first look at the two pictures. first, thats not australia’s best player (that is Paul Chapman that you have a pic of there) because that is not Jimmy Bartel. also, notice any difference in what they are wearing?? one is wearing an obvious unifrom and one is covered in padding. really. how is this tough? you know the hits are no harder in NFL than AFL but still the yank fags wear pads… makes them sound like teenage girls really. wow, you make it sound like there is so much skill in gridiron, you have to be able to run, tackle and throw. thats amazing. now ask yourself, “who is the bunch of retards and which sport sounds ’silly’?” cmon. (also your facts are pretty good, just got one wrong, the players have to bounce it once every 15 METRES, not seconds.
and next time, have a pie, not nachos. if ya want nachos, mexico is right next door to u.
so please tell me when you find proof that wearing pads and under-eye makeup is gayer than what the aussies in AFL do.
please do.
thank god someone finally had the balls to say what we’ve all been thinking for the past 10 months.
I think we can all agree we did not enjoy this retarded post. Thanks to the Bitch who is also known as the Man I had to be harshly reminded of this fact once again…thanks buddy.
just for the beauty of it… we all know YANKS are soft it’s all a fantasy that there tuff.. give me padding and I’ll charge you no worry’s .. as my sports teacher once said when we had a exchange student from the USA..and he tried Aussie rules..bloody soft cocks these yanks can’t handle a bump with out having a winge.
and mark my words that yank went home a man after a year with us!!!
so on the gentle side you guys dont no what playing football is…
skills guts and physical courage is what you need to play aussie rules ..
not a giant wearing tights and a helmut ..just mentioning it sounds bloody silly..or gay!!
poor buggers there just giant babys.
How are these Australians coming across this post???
It takes about nine months for American pop culture to become famous in Australia. Apparently that applies to blogs as well.
yeah… well Michael Phelps would kick Ian Thorpe’s ass. There. I said it.
I played touch football with an Australian guy here a few months ago and he apparently played in some semi-pro aussie rules league at home. He was the most unathletic idiot – seemed to think that if he just ran into people he’d win the game. Couldn’t throw a ball to save his life, couldn’t move laterally. I think we can all agree that Americans are more athletic, we’ve got that extra muscle in our leg. Australians do well at making fish and chips, constructing opera houses with excellent acoustics (trust me, I’ve heard, excellent!) and keeping New Zealand in check. Things they are not good at are as follows: being athletic, speaking english (they abbreviate or butcher everything), and apparently timely internet research.