Simmons pulls an Easterbrook

Bill Simmons (but seriously, I like him!) has enjoyed the high road recently in his passive aggressive column war with Gregg Easterbrook for the sole reason that he hasn’t stooped to conspiracy theories. That is no longer the case.

Today he celebrates the Patriots win over the Colts last Sunday by relegating his weekly NFL picks to a side bar and instead ranting for thousands of words about how he feels the officiating from last week’s game was fixed. A game the Patriots won, by the way.

I have two reactions to this. The first is “Dude, you won. Chill out.” Very reasonable. The second is “You fucking stop with this fucking nonsense right the fuck now or I’m coming to California to slap some sense into you.”

And while we’re on the subject I have another major gripe: Can someone explain to me the logic of the Patriots allegedly running up the score on everybody because people think they’re cheaters?

Why would anyone think that? Oh, that’s right. You fucking CHEATED and got caught. But it’s so offensive to you that someone would extrapolate your cheating over the course of your recent successful seasons, right? “How dare anyone assume that we did this more than once!”

Newsflash fuckers: cheating makes you a cheater. You can cry and whine all you want about how it was your first time and it was a mistake and you’ll never do it again. That’s your right. It’s my right to reasonably assume that you crossed the boundary into cheating long ago, and got caught in your brazen camera escapade because years of getting away with cheating emboldened you.

Getting caught cheating does not earn you the moral high ground despite whatever the Patriots and their fans apparently have convinced themselves of.