Hotdog & Friends

One thing about being a member of the Bloguminati (Blog Illuminati) is that because I have superior knowledge about everything, I have a duty to share that knowledge with the general public. Since nobody emails me with anything except for their concern about the length/girth/duration of my erections, I have taken my knowledge to another forum: Yahoo! Answers.

Now the people at Yahoo! don’t want the public to know some of the things I have to tell them. They have already banned several of my previous identities from participating in Yahoo! Answers. Sure, WizardSleeve49 and FrancisPeriwinkle81 said some things that probably cost somebody their life, but the enlightenment bestowed upon the masses probably saved thousands of souls. Here is my latest installment of answers after the jump:

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I know, I know, the third rule of blogging is never use four f-words in a title (Rule #1 - eat Hot Pockets, many and often. Rule #2 - Don’t put your penis in a freshly microwaved Hot Pocket). Nevertheless, here is Hotdog and Friends favorite Fabrice Fabrice appearing on the Human Giant 24-hour special.

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If that video took all the testosterone out of you, this next clip will fill your balls back up with pride. A nice combo of Nazareth - Hair of the Dog and one St. Jake Locker:

Echelon

I’m sure most people have seen this already, but I thought I’d link it anyway just in case. Simmons has run a mailbag consisting entirely of emails from Sonics’ fans lamenting our current plight.

Here she is.

Fantastic reading there, but it’s going to make you sad. Most every angle of the sordid story is covered, though I would have liked to have seen two more things. Namely that “Citizens For More Important Things” essentially ceased to exist once it became apparent that a new stadium deal was not in the works, leading one to believe that “More Important Things” actually always just meant “no new stadium” and nothing else.

Related to CFMIT’s argument, I wish that the proposed tax package would have received more play in Simmons’ column. Extending a tenth of a percent hotel and restaurant tax was never going to impact the people of Seattle. That tax goes after tourists by definition. And it’s not like that money is going to be reappropriated for schools, it’s just not going to be collected now.

Regardless, fantastic use of the bully pulpit by Simmons. This is the best thing he’s ever done.

Fig Jam 

To put it mildly, Tony Bennett is a wanted man.  He is the reigning coach of the year in College Basketball, the face of the WSU Athletic program, and a Coach whose name is being thrown around by a lot of media outlets as a potential candidate for certain “big name” programs who need a new coach.   For Tony Bennett, life is good. 

It is a good story because Bennett appears to be a genuinely good guy, who has the good looks and charm that allows people to gravitate towards him and root for him to be successful.  At WSU, Bennett is King right now and the focus of much consternation as worried Cougs everywhere prophesize and hypothesize about what Bennett’s future will hold. 

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And Pac-10 Pickepedia Purseday? That’s a fabulous handbag. Or Purrsday: the Cataclysm.

Echelon

Shit girl. My producers are telling me this segment needs punching up. I don’t know if I agree. I mean when I’m consistently bringing aural lubricant like this?

Baby girl your booty
is fresh and fruity
you got a fresh and fruity. booty.
(Shorten up)
Baby g your b
is fresh and free
you got a fresh and free. b.

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Constable Echelon

The Supes built up a 13 point lead, but were ultimately outclassed last night in the Okie Doke.

I’m fine with that. Not even the biggest homer could have expected a W there (or anywhere for that matter). What I’m not ok with is the NBA’s superstar officiating during decisive moments of the game. Per the Times headline, G State turned this one around in the third quarter. What they, or supersonicsoul.com as far as I can tell, neglect to mention is the role that enabling NBA officials played in the Warriors’ comeback.

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Manny Faces

I’m sure the good people of Houston have been shedding dragon tears since the news that Yao Ming is out for the season with a stress fracture in his foot. Well, they can rest easy on the thin seat on their Wal-Mart jeans, safely knowing their path the NBA Finals has been paved like so many Wal-Mart parking lots (I’m writing this from a display computer inside a Wal-Mart). Why the giddy Wal-Mart related optimism you ask? Well for one, I just saw a beluga of white lady smack the shit out of her Mexican toddler in the next aisle, and more importantly, the Rockets signed Bobby Jones to a 10-day contract.

Bobby Jones would go on to block this shot…with a nonchalant mind-swat. The ball ended up killing an usher in the 300-level. Don’t worry about that anymore T-Mac, he’s on your side now.

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by Hotdog

There. I said it.

It was brought to my attention that one Stephen A. Smith* is pushing “White Men Can’t Jump” and “He Got Game” as superior to the movie widely considered to be the best hoops movie ever, “Hoosiers.”

After a period of initial outrage and a couple days thought, I’ve come to a decision. For me, White Men Can’t Jump is the best basketball movie ever made. This piece of cinematic brilliance and Oscar** winner for Best Sound Editing was a fomative influence in my life for two reasons.

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Constable Echelon

I’ve been thinking about writing this for a couple of weeks. If I had balls I would have dropped it after UW beat UCLA because that would have been hella contrarian, brah. But I don’t and I didn’t.

Two prongs on this oyster fork: (1) The Sonics have multiple players who, on their night, can score the poop out of the basketball. (2) There is a measurable benefit to Supes losses, and as such I don’t care when they occur which frees me up to enjoy the superior level of basketball on display.

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Fig Jam

So Sergio Garcia got his Caddyshack on this weekend in the matchplay tournament when he allegedly tried to distract his opponent Boo Weekly, by making noise while Weekly was putting.  Were this any other pro on tour, this story would have no traction (ok, ok, if it were John Daly it would be believable), because pro golfers just don’t do this sort of thing.  However, since it’s Sergio Garcia, it is totally believable. In fact, let’s just call it true. 

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