Cuban Soccer Players Realize Miami >>> Cuba
Sager Bombs
Shocking, right? The Cubans arrive in Miami and realize they can get Cuban sandwiches, coffee, and big butt women in tiny bikinis all in one convenient capitalist location. I’m surprised they could keep enough team members around to even play the game. This was a savvy move by the US staging this game in an attractive location that would decimate the Cuban ranks for future qualifiers. You know Cuba was pushing for an exhibition in Portland or Salt Lake City. “Oh no particular reason Meester U.S. Soccer, you know, we just love zee boring fresh air and ugly white people.”
(I know I know, I do good impressions. Thanks for noticing.)
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I really enjoyed that video. I rapped along and guess what? I still know all the words. If you ask me how I know I got to plead the… you know what I’m saying? KnowwhaImSayin, papi?
PS: Was that Eva Mendes driving the care/welcoming Will to Miami?
PPS: I watched the entire US-Cuba game (twice, actually) and it’s such a shame, because that Cuba team played really well together. I think they could have finished top two in the group and perhaps gone on to qualify for Beijing, although it would have been a longshot.
PPPS: The one guy who should have defected, the No. 9 Pinares, didn’t, although he doesn’t get to play for the rest of the tournament. The best pro prospect on the team (other than perhaps the keeper), he saw red for two of the most bullshit of offenses – he slapped the corner flag after his goal (yellow) and finished a chance milliseconds after he was called offsides (another yellow).
PPPPS: If you’re playing Cuba in a group format, you pray to get them in the last game. They’re down to 11 players (10 because of Pinares’ red card suspension).
If slapping a corner flag gets yellow, then Tim Cahill has just been suspended for the next five years.
I heard the Buena Vista Social Club attempted a similarly sultry version of Bienvenido a Havana, but it turns out that they’re old and wrinkly.