I am Serious…. that’s the thing.

Fig Jam

Every now and again I am given the opportunity to talk about my ‘feelings’ and my ‘priorities.’  More often than not, this opportunity arises in connection with my committment to sports.  Most recently, it arose when the girl (we’ll call her Kay) that I have been dating for the past several months asked me to pick her and her mom up from the airport.  Being a gentleman and having no previous sports related engagements on the date in question, I of course said ok and thought nothing further of the whole situation until Monday morning.  Then everything changed. 

On Monday morning I awoke to find that UW had been selected (read: purchased entry) into the CBI, hosting Valporaiso in a first round game.  The game was Weds. at 6 pm at UW.  Now, I wasn’t sure of exactly what time I was supposed to be at the airport (details) to pick up Kay and her mom, but I knew that it was Weds. night.  This was a problem.  Clearly I was going to go to the UW game.  But, I also had this little airport dillema.  What to do?  Naturally  I called Kay….

Fig Jam: “Hey…. I may have a conflict with Weds. night.  There’s a UW game.”

Kay: “Huh?  You said their season was over.”

Fig Jam: “Yes I did say that, and in reality it kinda is, but…. (insert long diatribe about CBI and UW playing in CBI).”

Kay: “So it’s a worthless tournament?”

Fig Jam: “Absolutely.”

Kay: “But you’re going to to game even though it’s worthless.”

Fig Jam: “Yeah I have to go….. and I think that means I can’t be at SeaTac.”

Kay: ………Stupified silence……………

This is what I like to call the “John McEnroe” moment.  The “You Cannot Be Serious!” moment.  Then, as it slowly sinks in that I am serious, there are a series of other moments, mostly bad. 

Fig Jam: “So anyways, the game is at 6….”

Kay: “You’re done…. stop talking.”

Fig Jam: “Wow… that was a little uncalled for?  What’s wrong?” (secretly I think that what may be wrong is that I have just uncommitted to picking her, and her mother whom I’ve never met before, up from the airport because of a basketball game that we all know is meaningless).

Kay: “we land at 8:30, we’ll be done at the baggage claim around 8:45.”

Fig Jam: “oh nevermind then, the game will be over…. I can totally come get you.  Forget I even brought it up.” (concerned about overtime). 

END CONVERSATION…

So I guess the only question that remains is what happens if there is overtime? 

Obvious answer:  That’s why the airport has a Bar.

Note: if a female were to happen to read this (unlikely) and feel compelled to comment something to the effect of, “no wonder you’re still single,” or whatever… don’t bother.  If you want to talk about this we can discuss later, unless it is during a sports event, in which case it will have to wait.