(Yes, we’re gay for King Felix)

April 17, 2008
By Constable Echelon

Constable Echelon

I feel comfortable speaking for my cohorts that King Felix is our favorite Mariner. We love him. And if we all don’t then my love for him is so strong it’s enough to overpower any Ichiro dissenters. And I love Ichiro.

There’s nothing I enjoy more after a win than fawning from the enemy press. Lo! Athletics Nation:

More hats have to be tipped to Felix Hernandez, whose 97 MPH fastball has late movement, and who can drop a breaking ball in for a strike seemingly at will…
…There is no shame in scoring only a couple runs off of Felix or in looking like a team that can’t hit. We learned nothing tonight about how well the A’s can hit. What we learned is what we feared: The kid can pitch.

No Mulligans (Athletics Nation)

10 Responses to “ (Yes, we’re gay for King Felix) ”

  1. admin on April 17, 2008 at 10:36 am

    off topic: how could anyone not want ocho cinco on the seahawks?

    Reply
  2. Sager Bombs on April 17, 2008 at 10:55 am

    On topic: I’m considering a King Felix lower back tattoo. I’m only half joking.

    Reply
  3. angelica on April 17, 2008 at 6:30 pm

    I’d be soooo gay for the King…If I was a man.

    Reply
  4. Beef on April 17, 2008 at 10:57 pm

    I’d like to inform H&F that I’m leading the online crusade against ocho-cinco, and I have cast multiple votes in disfavor (of the hawks acquiring this poser). There is no need for us to pay Drew Rosenhaus for someone with Histrionic Personality Disorder. I’m fine with Bobby Engram and the cast of underachievers we currently possess. No more receiver deals. We need a tight end. However, I would like to throw my support behind Sager’s King Felix tattoo idea — if you get that shit in that latin street-gang script, chances are that it will look pretty cool.

    Reply
  5. Sparko on April 18, 2008 at 9:21 am

    Id also like to throw my support behind the latin street-gang Felix tatoo.

    Reply
  6. Shaggy on April 18, 2008 at 10:31 am

    I’m getting a tatoo of Yuniesky Betancourt’s likeness on my scrotum. Tomorrow.

    Reply
  7. Beef on April 18, 2008 at 11:20 am

    Shaggy, if you’re attempting to inform the ladies that you have soft hands, and are willing to swing your bat at anything, then I admire this plan.

    Reply
  8. hotdog on April 18, 2008 at 12:11 pm

    That’s generally how people describe me.

    Reply
  9. flawson on April 19, 2008 at 11:06 am

    I think the Yuni tatoo also indicates that you will not be willing to stop before you get to second base.

    PS, the most haggard girl just walked in to the cafe I’m at….SHAME!

    Reply
  10. Beef on April 20, 2008 at 4:46 am

    SHAAAAAAAAMMME!!!!

    Reply

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