Dear Seattle Mariners
Sager Bombs
So, um… listen. I know this hasn’t been exactly the ideal start of the season, and I know you’re counting down the days to trade away more prospects for Griffey, Jr., but can I possibly suggest an alternative?
Not sure if you heard, but Jacque Jones was cut today by Detroit. He had a bad start to the season, but he’s not Brad Wilkerson. There is sitll a pulse here. He can be had for dirt, can still contribute, and would immediately upgrade our pathetic corner defensive outfield. You already mortgaged the future, dammit… takeaflyertakeaflyertakeaflyer.
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hold on there…. if they do that there’s no way they are going to be able to get Vidro, and Sexson, and Johjima, and anyone else batting below .230 enough AB’s for them to be able to fight through this. You wait. Once they are comfortably out of contention all these guys will find a nice little groove and play .500 ball down the stretch. Then, next spring, they will all point to their non-contention stats as indicators they are still legitimate ballplayers.
Jacque Jones is the type of thing that works out for the Angels and no one else.
Julio Franco is available – he’s a ‘gritty’ ballplayer. A total Bavasi guy – a real ‘gamer’.
You’re right. Let’s think outside the box. Bernie Williams is retired, but available. Pretty sure the corpse of Kirby Puckett would fit as well.