To Do List:
Fig Jam
The Mariners are trying whatever they can to break this horrendous, season crippling, slump. I have tried to think of the standard procedures that teams generally go to during times like these. The Mariners are going down this list like clockwork.
1. “Shake things up” in the lineup with AAA guys. (check)
2. Have manager tell media that the time for excuses is over. (check)
3 Have manager yell at entire team behind closed doors. (check)
4. Have manager get himself chucked from game for arguing balls and strikes. (check)
5. Bean some opposing players. (check)
6. Charge mound and start brawl. (check)
7. Actually hit the baseball and win games. ( )
So far only #7 seems to be a sticky-wicket. All the other list items have come off flawlessly. Did I miss any?
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This homestand was going to make or break our season. It broke it. Fire Bavasi and McLaren. I don’t even care if they’re replaced by Isiah Thomas.
I think you missed one that goes in between what you currently have as steps 3 and 4:
Team holds players-only closed door meeting where savvy veterans step up and tell the younger guys it’s time to turns thing around. Media fawns at players’ ability to organize such a gathering. Players insist things will be better going forward. Token young guy makes comment like, “Man, it was just really great to hear Raul and the older guys just take charge and help set the team straight. Those guys have been around a long time and, as a young guy, you really respect that.”
Side note, why do you baseball players only talk in the second person?
I can’t recall if this has been done or not. If it hasn’t, it’s coming. Perhaps the incredible leadership abilities of Miggy Cairo should be called upon. God I hate this team.
Don’t forget the extra batting practice. The other day McLaren made them do an extra two hours of batting practice and then threw his hands up after they got shut out again.