Felix Hernandez to rest of Mariners: Like that…. assholes

June 23, 2008
By Fig Jam

Fig Jam

Felix Hernandez, the phenom young pitcher and de facto ace of the Mariners pitching staff, has just gone yard, grand slam style, against Johan Santana. Oh and he’s no hit the Mets through 3 innings thus far. I hope when he got back to the dugout he slammed his batting helmet on the ground and let forth a tirade of obsenities to the effect of “It’s not that damn hard.”

and thus with one swing of the bat Hernandez compiled almost one quarter the RBI’s that Richie Sexson has gotten in 211 Ab’s (23 RBI’s). More than one quarter of Ichiro’s (19 RBI’s in 312 ab’s).

5 Responses to “ Felix Hernandez to rest of Mariners: Like that…. assholes ”

  1. LS-DubC on June 23, 2008 at 9:06 pm

    A workhorse day for Fig Jam, 3 posts in one day. A fine day of blogging, but I have to assume his lawyering had to suffer.

    Reply
  2. Hose on June 24, 2008 at 6:13 am

    I don’t know what’s worse…losing King Felix after his fine outing, or the fact that we would have lost that game 2-1 if not for his run production. God we suck.

    Reply
  3. BigDog on June 24, 2008 at 10:21 am

    19/4 = 4.75 > 4

    Reply
  4. Fig Jam on June 24, 2008 at 10:33 am

    yeah yeah yeah…… math.

    Reply
  5. Brendan on June 24, 2008 at 10:55 pm

    I’m new at this ‘baseball’ stuff… so a grand slam gives you somewhere between 5 and 6 RBIs?

    Reply

Leave a Reply