I’m Not Nearly The Mooch You See On TV
By Mooch as told to Sager Bombs
I thought these assholes were my friends. Now I’m the subject of a mass media hit job. So maybe I take the occasional bite of other people’s food. Can you honestly say you’ve never done it? Now I can’t watch any sporting event without being bombarded with visual evidence of mockery by people I thought truly cared. Every freakin’ channel. Every single weekend. MOOOOOOOOCH. My name is Steven, ok? I have a name. I’m a human being.
It hurts, dammit. I didn’t deserve this.
But, whatever. Fine. Go ahead and eat your 1.07 pounds of meat and cheese all by yourself. Laugh it up, fun guys. See if I give a shit about going hungry. Hunger goes away, but this kind of hurt will last far longer.
*single tear falls*
June 23rd, 2008 at 8:54 am
As we all know $6 for a P’zone is a terrible deal. It’s an even worse deal than a $5 footlong.
June 23rd, 2008 at 9:22 am
If I’m ranking, I’d go as follows: $5 Footlong >>> P’Zone >>> Southern Style Chicken Sandwich.
June 23rd, 2008 at 9:25 am
The reason a P’zone is somewhat affordable is that it is 90% dough and also, they often won’t give you any ‘nara for dipping.
June 23rd, 2008 at 9:38 am
On post, in Baqubah, the Hut is shilling a small personal pan pizza for 13bones - decidedly the most shameless example of war profiteering that I’ve encountered. However, Adam Smith would argue that this could be the fair market price of this Pizza in Baqubah.
June 23rd, 2008 at 9:43 am
I actually had a P’Zone once, and have never had any desire to try it again. However, I’m unashamedly fascinated by the marketing of the P’zone. They’ve rolled it out with great commercial fanfare three different times as if (a) we’ve never seen it before, and (b) it hasn’t already disappeared quietly because it’s lousy.
My old blog had a post/debate titled “Greater Resurrection: Jesus of Nazareth or The P’Zone?” It took all my restraint to not rehash it this morning.
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:02 am
If Tommy Davidson couldn’t sell the P’zone, no one can.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:13 am
Hot Dog also “occasionally” takes bites out of other people’s food… big bites.