Fare Thee Well, Lanky One

Hotdog

With a heavy heart, I must report that Peter Crouch is headed away from Anfield.

My love for Crouch is far from a secret, no homo. But while countless Liverpool fans blot tears away this night, ultimately both player and country will benefit from this transfer.

Crouch Booty
Peter Crouch has his rear end lovingly escorted away from Anfield.

With the arrivals of Dirk Kuyt and Fernando Torres, Crouchie’s days at Anfield were always numbered. When Liverpool opted for a first-choice pairing of Torres and Kuyt (later playing Torres up front alone as a lone striker), Crouch found himself on the outside looking in.

Make no mistake, Crouch is an excellent player. Too often, Rafa misused his considerable talent. Time and again, Crouch answered his skipper’s call with a superb goal or two. And not just for Liverpool, mind you - it was Crouch who scored a terrific equalizer for England in the do-or-die Euro qualifier against Croatia.

Now, he’ll be playing up front with the resurgent Jermain Defoe at Portsmouth. As heartbroken as I am to see him leave, Pompey will be an ideal place for Crouchinho. With the quick and resourceful Defoe at his side, Crouch’s talents as a provider will be used to the fullest. I can see Defoe scoring as many as 18 goals in EPL play alone.

This pairing on the South coast bodes well for the Three Lions, as well. With Wayne Rooney so often injured, it’s not beyond the realm of possibility to see a striking tandem of Defoe and Crouch in World Cup qualifying. Should they begin to mesh together, England may finally have the pair of players in place to see them through to South Africa.

Hopefully the Reds can use this transfer cash (they netted 2 million pounds off Crouch - they paid 7 million to get him from Southampton) to land another game-breaking player - putting Gareth Barry and Gerrard in midfield together would once again behoove England manager Fabio Capello.

But all beginnings come from some other beginning’s end, as now we must say goodbye to the man who brought us so much joy. Fare thee well, Peter Crouch. Fare thee well.


Peter Crouch (mix) - Funny videos are here

3 Responses to “Fare Thee Well, Lanky One”

  1. Constable Echelon Says:

    I think a big growing up phase for a US soccer fan is when you start rooting for the failure of England’s national team. Fuck all of these people.

  2. hotdog Says:

    Constable, did you happen to notice the song in the Crouch video? It’s your favorite band Blur!

  3. Constable Echelon Says:

    I do like Blur.

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