Billy Packer’s Gone…Who’s Next?
Of course, no one under the age of 50 will miss Billy Packer. In addition to being a horrible human being, he hasn’t had anything interesting to say during a basketball game since the 80s. To top it off, you can tell he hates announcing games - college basketball brings no tingles to his wrinkled testicle-holder anymore.
As I listen to the piss-poor Home Run Derby telecast, I wonder which annoying, curmudgeonly, outdated TV broadcasters will be the next to lose their jobs. Hopefully some of these hacks will be next:
- Chris Berman: Cockface.
- Rick Reilly: Douchebag. Tell me again how Rick Reilly got on TV. What are his credentials again? Shouldn’t be out on a golf course slurping Phil Mickelson’s Hotdog & Friends? Apparently he now fancies himself the arbiter of race relations in America, based on how he’s decrying the lack of Hispanic players in this year’s Derby. Thanks Whitlock. I also don’t like him because of a trait he shares with Adam S., Flawson, and Tubby which I will not name. But’s totally one of those.
- Peter Gammons: Just kidding. Gammons is awesome, but he’s lost a bit after his stroke.
Who else needs to get the ax? It’s not as clear-cut now that the Theismann, Maguire, and Patrick threesome of terror have been disbanded.
So who is next? What about Dave Sims? Post your responses below.
July 14th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Rick Reilly, talking about the batting practice pitcher: “He probably wakes up stiff!”
July 14th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
Rick Reilly for sure. He’s a grade A dipshit. His smug attempts to alpha dog Simmons (blogger as slur) and paint himself as some sort of great literary talent were pathetic.
Spare me the hubris. Just cut and paste the cancer stories people email you, bank your gigantic checks, and shut the fuck up.
July 14th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Rick Reilly, because of a trait he shares with Adam S., Flawson, and Tubby which I will not name. I hate those.
July 14th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
I’d like to add Kenny Mayne to this list as well. After watching the celebrity softball game I realized his schtick is wearing really thin.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:17 am
I’m surprised no one has mentioned Dickie V.
July 15th, 2008 at 8:48 am
Rick Rizzs is horrible. Simms is horrible. They need to blow up the M’s broadcasting team (and regular team) and put Calaboro on the TV broadcast, let Neihaus finish out his career on radio, and have Harold Reynolds do the Color.
On the national side, Tim McCarver is the biggest moron on the face of the earth. I wish Deion Sanders would pour gatorade on him again…
July 15th, 2008 at 10:35 am
Barry Tomkins and Dan Belluomini!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 15th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Dan Belluomini’s sister was my downstairs neighbor in my apartment and she didn’t like us making noise. She needs to go. Does that count?
July 15th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Barry Tomkins was in Rocky IV.
Dave Sims is terrible, last week after foul bunt, he pointed out that Jeremy Reed was “bunting for a base hit” when he was leading off an inning.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
I know I am probably on the minority on this, but I absolutely hate John Madden. I don’t so much mind the fact that he is a rambling insane person*. The fact that really bothers me about him is absolute nonrelenting blind homosexual love for Brett Favre**. Favre could have thrown 17 interception in the first half and he is saying shit like “Brett sure is gunslinger”. Madden, Collingsworth, and Theisman should all should be brutally prison raped if you want my humble opinion.
*Actually on second thought I do mind that quite a bit.
**For the record I hate Brett Favre and am honestly thinking about killing him myself if he doesn’t leave the sporting world immediately.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Bob Costas - his Baseketball grace period has officially ended. Also, everyone named Gumbel should be forced into retirement so they can go back to their cabins in Northern Idaho and march in hate parades. And I agree with LS-Dubc about Madden and Theismann, but not with the same level of rapeful vigor.
July 15th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
I meant to add Joe Buck - the self-proclaimed moral conscience of America - to that list.
He was just listing a bunch of Hamilton’s faults - smoking crack, popping pills - and added getting tattoos right on the end of the list. Made sure to mention that he apparently “regretted every one of them.”
Great perspective, douche. Because tattoos are right up there with hard drug abuse. Stupid evangelist cock.
July 15th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Kenny Mayne 4-eva! How dare you, hotdog! He’s a local boy made good and he backed up your boy Randall Cunningham at UNLV.