Fideo Friday: Mocking Someone Else’s Hopes and Dreams
Riiing, Riiiing, Riiiing
Man [picks up phone]: Hello, Ken’s Video Production, this is Ken.
Woman: Hi, I wanted to get a music video made and I was wondering if you can shoot it for me?
Ken: Absolutely, what kind of video did you have in mind?
Woman: Well, I’m a country singer and I thought maybe we could do something outside.
Ken: Oh excellent! You sound like a normal country singer. Why, I would bet a hog full of nickels that you are a fairly attractive woman. Why don’t we shoot the video in the park tomorrow?
Woman: That sounds great! What time should I meet –-
Voice Yelling in Background: — tell him about me!
Ken: What was that?
Woman: Oh nothing, what time should we meet then?
Ken: Well, how about 11:30. I assure you everything will go smoothly, there will be nothing weird about it. It will all feel natural and not freakish in any matter whatsoever.
(Fast Forward to 11:30 the next day)
Woman: Hi, you must be Ken, I’m Reba.
Ken: HOLY FUCKING SHIT THERE IS ANOTHER PERSON ATTACHED TO YOUR FACE!!!
Reba: She’s going to dance in the video.
Ken: God, my life is awesome.
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I don’t even know what to say about this. This is one of the weirdest things I’ve seen in a while. What I really don’t understand is her fear of being alone. Did anyone tell her she has a person growing out of her face? Sorry Reba, you can’t be alone, so let me just lay your fears to rest right now. I mean I guess she could possibly be alone, but not without a very complicated and dangerous operation. So maybe that’s where her fear comes from. But she should’ve called it, “Fear of dying during a complicated operation where I have this ogre removed from my face.” That’s a fear I can get behind. But fear of being alone, no. Don’t worry your pretty little head(s) off about that. Next song.
Is it wrong for me to have a boner?
I forgot about this. But two things:
1) Here’s a working link http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/fa3f737aa8/the-fear-of-being-alone-by-reba-schappelle-from-tubulargoldmine
2) From Wikipedia: “In 2006, George was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, in Reading, Pennsylvania. Lori did not join the LDS Church, but has been supportive of her sister’s decision.” How fucking awkward is that??? You have to go to cult practice with someone that shares 30% of your brain?