Here Are Some Obligatory Cougar Jokes
Manny Faces
Since, you know, it’s The Apple Cup and all, here some gnarly burns you can throw around the office to ramp-up this epic rivalry. We will start with an oldie but goodie…
It seems there was this fellow named Smythe who graduated from the Washington State University. He had decided to seek employment as a salesman for a haberdashery located in the city of Seattle. He procured an interview with the owner, one Mr. Longfellow, the following morning. Smythe arrived at Longfellow’s and took a seat in the parlor. Longfellow entered the room and said with a booming baritone, “I will hire thee immediately if you just name for me the Patron Saint of Haberdashers.” Smythe stood up and wagged his finger, “Why that would be Saint Louis XI!” he exclaimed. Longfellow chortled, “You imbecile, the Patron Saint of Haberdashers is Saint Louis IX, I can clearly see you were educated at an inferior university.” He then tossed out this zinger of a farewell, “and were I like thee, I would throw myself away in the rubbish bin.”
And it only goes downhill from here…
Q: How do you neuter a Cougar?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth.
Q: What’s the difference between a Cougar and a pizza?
A: A pizza doesn’t scream when you put it in an oven.
Q: Why don’t WSU girls wear panties to picnics?
A: To keep the flies off the food.
They are pretty awesome sometimes
Q: What is similar about WSU Cheerleaders and a hockey goalie?
A: They both change their pads after 3 periods.
Q: Why aren’t there any WSU grads on Star Trek?
A: They don’t work in the future either.
Q: What is similar between WSU alumni and hot older women on the prowl for younger men?
A: They are both dead inside.
Q: How does a WSU chick take a pregnancy test?
A: She shoves a can of Busch Light up her snatch and if it comes out empty then you know another retard is on the way.
Q: What do you call a Cougar in the wild?
A: You can call it a cougar, although they can also be called a puma, panther or mountain lion depending on the region. They have also been referred to as catamounts and mountain screamers.
That last one is funny because it is true. Post your best below.
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How do you keep Cougars out of your front yard?
Put up goalposts.
What’s the difference between a Cougar and an opossum? An opossum only plays dead on the road.
What’s the difference between the WSU cheerleading team and a 747? 250 pounds
fantastic stuff. really, truly great! here’s to a win! (maybe)
Why are a tornado and a cougar divorce similar? You know somebody is going to lose a trailer.
What do cougar cheerleaders and cougar qbs have in common? They’re always on their backs.
What is the one sign of intelligent life in Pullman?
Seattle, 315 miles