Three Barks for Sark! (…we guess)

Constable Echelon

According to, Steve Sarkisian is the new head coach for your Washington Huskies.

First order of business? Tepid denial! Way to own your first story, Sark!

For the fans? Lose your shit! The Dawgman chatroom was supremely entertaining Thursday night. And if you’re wondering, the crowd was 99% on the side of TERRIBLE HIRE. I’m not there, yet, but I see where these guys are coming from.

Washington Football is in a dangerous place right now and needed a home run hire. Steve Sarkisian is most certainly not a home run hire.

Let’s have a rundown of the pros and cons:


Not Tyrone Willingham

You have to make this a blanket category, so that Sarkisian’s pros list doesn’t inflate to include things like “practice will be open”, “better relationship with media”, “doesn’t speak in third person”, “has pulse”.

NBC Sports


Or, since the terms of the contract have yet to be announced, he better be cheap. This is the second pro by the way and neither have anything to do with Sark’s coaching ability. Which is why I’m not trying to overthink this or even think about this rationally. At least we’ll have money to hire assistants…but we’ll get to that below.

Wants the job

Again, nothing to do with his coaching ability. At least with Sarkisian we’re not dealing with a guy who is feigning interest in the UW gig to get a bigger extension. The buzz seems to indicate that he gave one hell of an interview that knocked rookie AD Scott Woodward off his feet.

Has experienced Husky Football

USA Today

The 1996 BYU Cougars had a stellar 14-1 campaign with Steve Sarkisian as their starting quarterback. (Though their schedule was weak and I don’t understand how they played 15 games.) That one loss? In Husky Stadium. If you go through a year where you lose one, you remember that one. As in, “We had a great team that year, but Washington!”

West Coast recruiting experience

This is Sarkisian’s biggest strength. He knows California. Of course it’s a lot easier to convince Cali kids to play for USC when they all want to go there anyway, but his familiarity with the area certainly can’t hurt.

Used to winning

Not much to explain here. Winning is contagious. It’s easy to do when it’s all you know. Like losing actually in that regard. But Steve Sarkisian is, by proxy, a winner.


ZERO head coaching experience

Imagine you have a once powerful program that has endured terrible coaching for 6+ years and is all of a sudden in the crapper. You make the correct decision to fire your joke of a coach, and when the chips are down and you can’t afford another mistake you hire…SOMEONE COMPLETELY UNTESTED? Not just at your level, but at any level. Wow.

No evidence that he’s even a good Offensive Coordinator

You know, since Norm Chow left, USC’s offense has somehow been their achilles heel. Maybe John David Booty wasn’t a great quarterback. Maybe Mark Sanchez isn’t a great quarterback. But if you have superior talent at every position, you should be able to trick me into believing that at least one of those guys is great. Maybe they go conservative at USC because they have such a terrific defense to rely on and Pete Carroll’s orders are simply “Don’t do anything stupid.” I don’t know.

34 years old

Not that I’m an ageist or something like that. I would have been pissed if we hired a 60 something coach as well. So maybe I am an ageist. I just wanted a coach who has been around the block between 39 and 55. It will be 2014 before Sarkisian can give the old “I’M FORTY!” rant.

Who in god’s name is Sarkisian going to hire as his assistants?

This is an extension of the 34 year old problem. Who is in his coaching network? This is also a USC problem. Why would any of their assistants leave Troy for Seattle? Especially if all you need to do is show up there for a few years and someone gives you a Pac-10 coaching gig? We could be headed for an all graduate assistant coaching staff. Shoot me.


He’s not Tyrone. He’s not Tyrone. He’s not Tyrone. Honestly the more you think about this hire the worse it sounds. I guess if you want a positive spin you can look to the late great Bernie Mac who said “I don’t believe shit until shit happens.” That’s good shit and bad shit. It’s possible Sarkisian injects vitality into our moribund program. Nobody was fired up for the Romar hire and that worked out well, after all. Sometimes the right guy is just the right guy.

It’s just a shame that after a half decade of “Maybe this will work” (it didn’t) all we are left with as Husky fans after the hire of Steve Sarkisian is “Maybe this will work.”

(It _______ )

Steve Sarkisian from