Sources: Lakers To Trade Kobe!!!!

At least this is what I assume, since the Lakers acquired another franchise player in Adam Morrison. Sources close to the ‘Stache are questioning how two white-hot superstars will be able to occupy the same locker room. However, the Lakers had little choice.

“With the departure of Ronny Turiaf in free agency, we desperately needed another Gonzaga star to carry Kobe to another title,” said Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak. “Adam Morrison provides the perfect package of glitz and glamour. We believe he’ll be an international superstar in a matter of months.

Let’s now take a second to compare Morrison and Kobe Bryant, to see who the better player is…

College Careers:
Morrison: Led the nation in scoring in the 2005-06 season.

Bryant: Didn’t even go to college!!!

Edge: Morrison

NBA Draft:
Morrison: #3 overall (drafted by Michael friggin Jordan and the Bobcats)

Bryant: #13 overall (drafted by the Charlotte Hornets (I did not know that!))

Edge: Morrison

The Look:
Morrison: Inspired a generation with his brash style and take-no-prisoners good looks. Has been called the James Dean of his generation.

Bryant: Shows his doodle in pictures

Edge: Bryant.


Sike! Edge Morrison.

So there you have it. Science proves once again that the Spokaskan Assassin, Adam Morrison, is the greatest basketball player to play in the NBA. Rumors are abuzz in Hollywood about Morrison becoming a cross-over star – his name has been mentioned as the next star of the Mummy franchise. (He’s also been romantically linked to Tina Fey.)