WSU Quarterback Passes Out At Police Station, Gets M.I.P.
Manny Faces
Police arrested Washington State University quarterback, Marshall Lobbestael, for minor in possession Saturday.
KXLY.com reports:
Pullman officers were in contact with Lobbestael twice on Saturday. The first run-in happened on College Hill when officers saw him carrying an unconscious woman. They took her into custody for MIP.
About an hour after that officers found Lobbestael in the pickup truck at the station. They were able to wake him and arrest him for MIP.
Now I am no criminal mastermind, but I am going to go out on a limb here and say that if you are going to commit a date rape, it’s probably not wise to wait outside a police station for your potential victim. There are plenty of blacked-out WSU coeds who will get in your truck if you promise them Pita Pit. As commenter Joey Jo Jo put it: He totally Coug’d that date rape.
ebaumsworld.com
How will WSU handle this? Apparently Coach Paul Wulff will “look into the case.” What is there to look into? Unsubstantiated date rape allegations aside, I will break it down for Coach Wulff.
1. Marshall Lobbestael is your quarterback.
2. Marshall Lobbestael is 19 years old.
3. The drinking age is 21 years old.
4. Marshall Lobbestael was drinking alcohol.
5. Marshall Lobbestael is an idiot.
Case closed.
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Unbelievable story. Too good to be true.
What a moron…You would think it easy to hide away in a desolate hopeless place like Pullman.
I also enjoy how they call him star quarterback…there hasn’t been a star football player that’s fallen harder, faster since star Detroit Lions quarterback Dan Orlovsky when he got caught sticking up that Bennigan’s.
The guy in the photo looks eerily similar to a young Sam Roberts.
Question: why isn’t he getting a DUI, too? Isn’t it rather clear that he drove to the police station?
Accusing somebody of date rape is a serious accusation. Before you go throwing around terms such as that, or any accusations for that matter, you should get your facts straight. I can say with 100 percent certainty that the girl he was taking home was his girlfriend, and has been for over a year now. Maybe you should figure out what you talking about before you start placing labels on people that could potentially be read by others, and come back to do them some serious harm.
Unless you know what your talking about maybe you should keep your opinions to yourself, and save yourself the risk of getting in trouble yourself.
Spoken like a true date-raper
I’m no lawyer, but I do have a friend who crashed his truck while near-blackout drunk and somehow lost a wheel along the way. When the police arrived, he was outside searching for the wheel. He never admitted to driving the truck, and the police can’t prove he was driving the truck, and so my understanding is that this is the reason he can’t be/hasn’t been charged with DUI. If my facts are correct, this would lead me to believe that the reason Therapist Lobbestael was not charged with DUI is that it can’t be proven that he actually DROVE under the influence.
Person, can you explain with 100 percent certainty why Lobbestael Andy Roofed his girlfriend of over a year?
I have date raped many of my “girlfriends”. I also said the date rape allegation was “unsubstantiated”, but I wouldn’t expect anyone who knows Lobbestael and his date rape du jour to know what the word means. Here is the definition for you moron: Go fuck yourself.
P.S. “Du Jour” also means go fuck yourself.
This young man has potential.
Not only did he manage to perfectly execute the “I’m passed out behind the wheel, but the keys are on the roof of my car so I couldn’t have been driving” defense. But he did this against a veteran team of university police who had just blown up his “caveman bonk this chick on the dome and drag her to my pad on the other side of College Hill” offense.
allegedly
Many Faces – Really? I thought unsubstantiated meant Sark’s prowess as a head coach. But just in just in case your right… go “unsubstantiated” yourself. Maybe you’ve mistaken “unsubstantiated” for moronic. I mean seriously, who “date rapes” a girl and then carries her around college hill? Attempted “date rape” might be plausible… in that it might logically happen but your just talking out your ass when you say date rape. Don’t they teach logic at a “Public Ivy” school??? Think before you open any of your Many retarded Faces!!!
Tubby – I guess your Tubby ass has to date rape your “girlfriend”. But in Pullman we like to drink and fuck, independently or simultaneously. Maybe you should stop going Jerramy Stevens style on Seattle women.
skdub – I don’t know about Sam Roberts but… the guy in the picture looks a little like Saint Locker to me.
Shaggy – Hell yeah! Innocent until proven guilty only applies to Huskies!!! (That was sarcasm just so you understand.)
Breff – Have you ever been to Pullman??? (Without your fagot purple uniform) I’m from Western Washington, am Living in Boston, and couldn’t think of a better place to live then that “desolate hole” called Pullman. Real neighbors, a real community, real people, AND NO FUCKING HUSKIES!!!
Constable Echelon – The only thing too good to be true is YOUR 0-12 season!!!!!!!
Joey Jo Jo – Oh, maybe our “star” QB “might” have “fallen” but we still have a football team to back him up. What happens when your “star-one man football team” falls (or breaks his thumb again) and you have nothing to back him up.
Many Faces – Really? I thought unsubstantiated meant Sark’s prowess as a head coach. But just in just in case your right… go “unsubstantiated” yourself. Maybe you’ve mistaken “unsubstantiated” for moronic. I mean seriously, who “date rapes” a girl and then carries her around college hill? Attempted “date rape” might be plausible… in that it might logically happen but your just talking out your ass when you say date rape. Don’t they teach logic at a “Public Ivy” school??? Think before you open any of your Many retarded Faces!!!
Tubby – I guess your Tubby ass has to date rape your “girlfriend”. But in Pullman we like to drink and fuck, independently or simultaneously. Maybe you should stop going Jerramy Stevens style on Seattle women.
skdub – I don’t know about Sam Roberts but… the guy in the picture looks a little like Saint Locker to me.
Shaggy – Hell yeah! Innocent until proven guilty only applies to Huskies!!! (That was sarcasm just so you understand.)
Breff – Have you ever been to Pullman??? (Without your fagot purple uniform) I’m from Western Washington, am Living in Boston, and couldn’t think of a better place to live then that “desolate hole” called Pullman. Real neighbors, a real community, real people, AND NO FUCKING HUSKIES!!!
Constable Echelon – The only thing too good to be true is YOUR 0-12 season!!!!!!!
Joey Jo Jo – Oh, maybe our “star” QB “might” have “fallen” but we still have a football team to back him up. What happens when your “star-one man football team” falls (or breaks his thumb again) and you have nothing to back him up.
Manny, haven’t you been date raped yourself? So you’ve got experience — on both ends.
You can’t think of a better place to live than Pullman? Have you ever been to a little place I like to call “everywhere else”?
Also–see point above about the Cougars being terrible last year. No one on the Cougars (or Huskies) should be called a star, and you don’t have a team to back it up, unless your opponent is Garbage State (or Washington). “Least terrible player” doesn’t mean star.
That’s pretty awesome how you guys like drinking and sex in Pullman, though. Bold, and a new fad that just might catch on in college.
Finally, can we please be fair to Jerramy Stevens? He’s not a date rapist. He’s a rapist.
Oh, a rapist. I’m sorry my bad. That just makes it all better, cause using violence on a girl is sooo much better than drugs.
And Yes. Pullman is an awesome place to live. You didn’t answer my question though. Have you ever been to Pullman? That town is full of some of the greatest honest, salt of the earth, people I have ever met. It might be nowhere to you but if you’ve never lived there I can hardly expect your ignorant ass to understand. And I don’t know what you call “everywhere else” but I’ve lived in 15 different states. Please try and insult Pullman more intelligently next time. A small town doesn’t mean nowhere just because you can’t comprehend the meaning of a community.
As to your second point. I’ll give you that. We both sucked last year. That’s the only fair way to put it. My point though… was that we at least we competed as a team (granted poorly) but we didn’t depend on one single player.
Your third point.. Yeah right, a new fad. Thank you for making my point. Guess you just made Wazzu more fashionable than U-Dud.
Person #2 – I think I speak for all of us when I say Pullman is a complete sh*thole. We’ve all been there, we all hate it. In the ranking of Eastern Washington cities it falls well short of Spokane, and much farther from Walla Walla. Secondly, you are a moron. Think of this battle as a metaphor for your life – you made bad choices to begin with to end up where you are, and it’s going to be a constant, futile struggle until you finally throw in the towel and die.
These comments have taken a turn for the spectacular. MOAR!
Person #2, is there a WSU-Boston pipeline for WSU grads? If not let’s make that happen because that makes all the sense in the world. You can binge drink, be openly racist, have a white trash superiority complex (SOUTHIEEEEEE!), and be surrounded by girls with beer guts… only now you’re in The Big City!
No really, please send more WSU grads there. Then secede. Into the ocean.
Obviously Lobbestael rates as a big enough star to have a sanitization crew such as this out en force this soon after the story broke. Maybe its that insular Whidbey Island mentality: ya gotta look out for your fellow islanders or the townies il’ give ya a raw deal…
Doesn’t any small town inherently suck? If people actually wanted to live there, it would be a big city, like you know, Seattle.
Oh my god. I’ve just had an epiphany. I am a horrible human being. I’ve been living this shell of a life, just wandering around the country date raping this and butt sexing that. The reason I’ve lived in 15 states is because I’ve raped so many bridges. I’m raping my hand right now as I type this. I’m just addicted to rape. I can’t help it.
When I’m not out raping, I sit at home and defend fellow rapists on the internet. I’m such a piece of shit and I owe all of you an apology. I’m so so so sorry. You guys are right. Pullman is a toilet of a town and I’m just one of the many pieces of swirling shit waiting to escape through the drain. Although I live in Boston now, the WSU aura of failure still follows me everywhere go. Sometimes I Coug even the easiest rapes. Listen to this. One time, my sister was just laying there, blacked out drunk, totally naked with her legs open and her pussy all lubed up and I totally Couged the rape. I don’t really remember what happened but I ended up getting double stuffed by two black dudes. How did that happen? How could I Coug the easiest incest rape and end up in the middle of a big black wobbly H? I don’t know. That’s just the kind of failure that I’m used to, and until now I’ve been in denial. I want to thank all of you for opening my eyes. Washington State University is full of the worst kind of shitheads. Until now, I’ve always been so proud to be an inbred, alcoholic, redneck, sister-raper. But why? Now that I think about it. Those are all terrible things to be, but for some reason, me, and the rest of my retarded Cougar friends have always thought we were so cool.
In conclusion, I just want to apologize again. Pullman is a shithole, WSU sucks, and I am shining example of the kind of worthless, raping, douchebags that come out of that turd factory. FROM HENCEFORTH, I WILL FOREVER BOW DOWN TO WASHINGTON!!!!!!!!
If that weren’t so thoroughly unfunny it would be worth deleting.
I don’t know, I thoroughly enjoyed that.
Geez. Person #2, that’s some brutal honesty. I’m glad you have finally seen the light. We accept your apology, but seriously, stop raping your sister. You can continue to simultaneously drink and fuck, that sounds pretty awesome. Nothing better than pounding a 40oz. while some hot chick bounces on your cock, right guys? Right? Guys? Hello?
Okay, but getting back to the original article, I did have a real comment to make before Person #2’s moving moment of clarity. Manny Faces, while I completely agree with you and everything that has been said about this date raping dingleberry, as a philosophy student, I must take issue with your argument. I don’t think that the conclusion necessarily follows from the premises. Yes it’s true, one could argue that drinking at age 19 when the drinking age is 21 makes you an idiot. However, I don’t think that’s the only thing, and by that logic, we are all idiots. Now one could make a very good case that we are all idiots, but fuck that guy. I’m no idiot. I mean yeah, I probably am, but fuck you for proving it in an argument and making me look like a dick. Anyway, I think you would need to bring up other evidence and maybe some hilarious stories besides just the mere fact that we had some drinks when we were 19. I think all you need to do to fix it is add a premise in between 4 and 5 that says something like, “Marshall Lobbestael passed out in a truck outside of a police station after drinking.” Now the idiot conclusion is airtight. This is all I really wanted to say. Thank you, and thank you again to Person #2. It takes a real man to admit when he’s been a total raping piece of shit all of his life. You’ve actually surprised me. I didn’t know Cougars were capable of such honest thoughts. The ability to change your mind is really the only way to be sure you still have one. I commend you.
Constable…I agree. I would expect nothing less from him.
and we have established a breaking point.
Can we have Person #2 become a regular guest poster? The guy is solid gold.
Sager Bombs, god damnit, stop being so right about places. Boston is really populated with the same awful douches as Pullman, down to the residents’ irrational love of somewhere that has very little to offer except for harsh winters and harsher female features.
Obviously not worth addressing this guy’s points (except that of course I have been to Pullman, and of course it’s awful), but I love how he went straight for “getting double stuffed by two black dudes”, unprompted, in quite some detail. What??? Is that what happened to Lobbestael, or did a certain someone throw some not-that-deeply repressed personal desire into there? I don’t have a problem with it, I’m just saying, hope he comes to terms with his own sexuality.
We’ll y’all just enjoy yourselves with your senseless nonsense. There is no sense in engaging a bunch of children when none of y’all can engage in an actual conversation without making shit up. But if you want to make shit up… why not turn Locker into Superman? It would fit with your logic and maybe you guys wouldn’t go 0-12 again!!!
the other Person #2 – Seek some counseling please. Seriously you just don’t make that shit up. P.S. Your uncle was an asshole.I’m sorry. It’s not your fault!!!
See y’all at Apple Cup!!! (Can you please designate one of y’all to have some balls though and NOT run away from a fight IN PERSON.)
So there are two person #2? Creativity at work.