Wild Hawks To Seattle Sounders FC: This Is A FOOTBALL Stadium

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Nothing ruins an opening night like bird carcasses strewn about the stadium. According to a source close to the team, Seattle Sounders FC has abandoned plans to have doves fly around Qwest Field on Opening Night after at least three were killed by marauding hawks.

During a dry-run of Opening Night festivities last Thursday, the soccer team released several white doves from the tunnel, which were supposed to fly around the stadium a bit before returning to their home in Auburn (or thereabouts). However, they soon found themselves in peril as three hawks dive-bombed the easy targets.

What happened after was nothing short of a symbolism-laden massacre. One hawk reportedly killed a dove, dropped the carcass into the stands, and then went back for seconds.

Thanks for the free dinner, bitches!
Thanks for the free dinner!

I still hope the club changes its mind and flies doves on Opening Night – this would be up their with the Blue Angels as the coolest thing any of us will ever see.