Suck it world! UW Softball National Champions!

Constable Echelon


Image: ncaachampionmagazine.org

Simply put, fuck you all. Fuck each and every last one of you. Seriously. Fuck you good and hard.

For the University of Washington Huskies are the champions of the Women’s Collegiate Softball Universe.

“But wait, Echelon, you don’t care about women’s softball!”

May I refer you to the first line of this post? Because I’m reluctant to as your butthole is still likely sore and stinging with stress lacerations.

I would like to let you know that I have been a fan of UW Softball from nigh onto 72 hours ago. And what a ride it has been!

Pictures of our heroes after the jump.

I tell you what, on Sunday afternoon while watching UW come up just short against those mashers from Georgia I was wondering if it would EVER be our year. Here I had been a fan for an hour and a half and what did I have to show for it? It was exactly like being a Cubs fan. Or rooting for the Jews in the late 30s. Just plain heartbreak.

Luckily I had that game on dvr and when it concluded I just flipped over to the nightcap and lo! We were winning!! UW to the final series!

Finally after three hours of being a fan I had something to show for it. It was about damn time.

I will note that Georgia senior Kristin Schnake went into a bizarre routine of smiling and laughing for the last two innings of her last game. Laughing at errors. Laughing at her inability to touch Danielle Lawrie in the 7th. I suppose she invoked Q Tip, “I really can’t say I guess I laugh to keep from cryin’…”


Image: totaluga.com

Not to get all “There’s no way this would fly if a dude did this”, but, there’s no way that would fly if a dude did this. Imagine if LeBron got all petulant and immature while losing a knockout game?

(Bad example)

Fast forward to Monday night and game one against Florida. UW went up big early on a hilarious slapstick effort from Florida’s catcher. She was attempting to get the runner at second following a two run single, and ended up airmailing the ball to the centerfield wall.

I’ll say it again: the Benny Hill Theme is never going to be Eye of the Tiger for any team that aspires to win a championship on any level. Just take my word for it.

When the night was through National Player of the Year Danielle Lawrie had struck out 12 in a two hit shutout and the Dawgs had annihilated the Gators 8-0.

Tuesday night. Florida got 2 runs in the top of the first. They threatened to score seemingly every inning. But the Dawgs had too much. Lawrie locked it down. And we won. After 72 hours of wondering, hoping, pain, joy, desperation, exultation – UW were the champions. It was the ride of my life.

To celebrate lets enjoy some of the dishes that brought home the hardware:

Morgan Stuart


Image: gohuskies.com

Personal fave. Adorable, with pop.

Kimi Pohlman


Image: seattletimes.com

You’re kidding me with this team. It ought to be criminal to be this good and cute. Her teammates say she runs like a deer, the pregame promo told me.

Lauren Greer


Image: gohuskies.com

Jake Locker’s squeeze. Hopefully she can teach Jake a thing or two about winning. Her hometown is Placentia, CA. Do with that what you will.

Danielle Lawrie


Image: seattletimes.com

“Hey! I’m the fucking best player in the nation! What are you going to do?”

Jenn Salling


Image: gohuskies.com

Salling transferred to UW from Oregon “because she wanted to play for a winner”. If that doesn’t melt your heart nothing will.

Congratulations to the Champions!!

Huskies win NCAA softball title (Seattle Times)

The gritty, unforgettable Huskies were an absolute ball to watch (Jerry Brewer – Seattle Times)

(I don’t really hate Jerry Brewer as much as other people around here do.)