Suck it world! UW Softball National Champions!
Constable Echelon
Image: ncaachampionmagazine.org
Simply put, fuck you all. Fuck each and every last one of you. Seriously. Fuck you good and hard.
For the University of Washington Huskies are the champions of the Women’s Collegiate Softball Universe.
“But wait, Echelon, you don’t care about women’s softball!”
May I refer you to the first line of this post? Because I’m reluctant to as your butthole is still likely sore and stinging with stress lacerations.
I would like to let you know that I have been a fan of UW Softball from nigh onto 72 hours ago. And what a ride it has been!
Pictures of our heroes after the jump.
I tell you what, on Sunday afternoon while watching UW come up just short against those mashers from Georgia I was wondering if it would EVER be our year. Here I had been a fan for an hour and a half and what did I have to show for it? It was exactly like being a Cubs fan. Or rooting for the Jews in the late 30s. Just plain heartbreak.
Luckily I had that game on dvr and when it concluded I just flipped over to the nightcap and lo! We were winning!! UW to the final series!
Finally after three hours of being a fan I had something to show for it. It was about damn time.
I will note that Georgia senior Kristin Schnake went into a bizarre routine of smiling and laughing for the last two innings of her last game. Laughing at errors. Laughing at her inability to touch Danielle Lawrie in the 7th. I suppose she invoked Q Tip, “I really can’t say I guess I laugh to keep from cryin’…”
Image: totaluga.com
Not to get all “There’s no way this would fly if a dude did this”, but, there’s no way that would fly if a dude did this. Imagine if LeBron got all petulant and immature while losing a knockout game?
(Bad example)
Fast forward to Monday night and game one against Florida. UW went up big early on a hilarious slapstick effort from Florida’s catcher. She was attempting to get the runner at second following a two run single, and ended up airmailing the ball to the centerfield wall.
I’ll say it again: the Benny Hill Theme is never going to be Eye of the Tiger for any team that aspires to win a championship on any level. Just take my word for it.
When the night was through National Player of the Year Danielle Lawrie had struck out 12 in a two hit shutout and the Dawgs had annihilated the Gators 8-0.
Tuesday night. Florida got 2 runs in the top of the first. They threatened to score seemingly every inning. But the Dawgs had too much. Lawrie locked it down. And we won. After 72 hours of wondering, hoping, pain, joy, desperation, exultation – UW were the champions. It was the ride of my life.
To celebrate lets enjoy some of the dishes that brought home the hardware:
Morgan Stuart
Image: gohuskies.com
Personal fave. Adorable, with pop.
Kimi Pohlman
Image: seattletimes.com
You’re kidding me with this team. It ought to be criminal to be this good and cute. Her teammates say she runs like a deer, the pregame promo told me.
Lauren Greer
Image: gohuskies.com
Jake Locker’s squeeze. Hopefully she can teach Jake a thing or two about winning. Her hometown is Placentia, CA. Do with that what you will.
Danielle Lawrie
Image: seattletimes.com
“Hey! I’m the fucking best player in the nation! What are you going to do?”
Jenn Salling
Image: gohuskies.com
Salling transferred to UW from Oregon “because she wanted to play for a winner”. If that doesn’t melt your heart nothing will.
Congratulations to the Champions!!
Huskies win NCAA softball title (Seattle Times)
The gritty, unforgettable Huskies were an absolute ball to watch (Jerry Brewer – Seattle Times)
(I don’t really hate Jerry Brewer as much as other people around here do.)
Loading ...
The ass on the Florida pitcher was mesmerizing…I could not take my eyes off it.
This post is woefully devoid of Alicia Blake
they need to put out a swimsuit calendar. for charity or something. that something being my wang. by wang i mean penis.
Great stuff as usual, Constable.
You know I called dibs on Morgan Stuart… you know it. She was devastating in that tourney. A 5 hit game. 4 doubles. Clutch RBI’s. She wasn’t going to win the MVP or get a ton of accolades, but she made it happen for the dawgs.
Bravo, sir. Bravo.
And as to the unavoidable hotness of the Stacy Nelson’s posterior, indeed a favorable comment.
Also, to the best fucking player in the country, it would be my honor to remove the lent from betwixt the cheeks of your ass with my tongue. You, my lady, are a voluptuous gem.
Will these girls get “NCAA Championship” T-Shirts? Will they screw dudes in these shirts and mid coitus ask “How’s it feel to fuck a champion?!”
Because that’s what some folks would do. So I hear.
I need a picture of the #9 hitter who hit a 3-run homer followed by a grand slam when we were down 8-4 in the 2nd Georgia game.
hey fig jam u think u can call dibs on any Uw softball player? why dont u just check back into your WoW account and call dibs on your moms mac and cheese that u get fat off every day. better yet, any of u who commented on this page feel free to say something to me, but it probably wont matter because i can not be intimidated by anyone who has lived in his mothers basement for 75% of their life. why dont u get out and try to walk, unless your cankles are too massive that u cant walk straight due to failure to see the sidewalk. also, we all know that you have to lift your belly up in order to see your 2 inches of boyhood. have a fantastic day and have fun with the rest of your pathetic life of watching little league baseball on espn
Yes. This.
UW Brother, I’ve had mac n cheese at Fig Jam’s house and it was nothing special.
Oh also: the only thing worse than internet pervs are internet tough guys. Go fuck yourself.
Having personally met him and seen him in the shower, I agree with the entirety of that critique of Fig Jam.
You got me Brah. Hella tough commenting. Hella tough.
Hey, UW Brother, you play World of Warcraft too??!? Awesome! I’m a ninth-level elf cleric. We should kill some trolls sometime. I got a really awesome new suit of dragon mail and I can’t wait to try it out. Armor class -8 w00t w00t!
What’s your tag? I’m “MistWalker” — find me!
UW Brother sounds like a guy I’d go Columbine on.
He and Person #2 should hang out.
By “Columbine on” I mean shooting UW Brother in the face with a shotgun, in my trench coat. Then jerking off to WoW afterward. By jerking off I mean masturbating. By masturbating I mean choking myself David Carradine style.
[...] Suck it world UW Softball National Champions Hotdog amp Friends Posted by root 17 minutes ago (http://hotdogandfriends.com) I would like to let you know that i have been a fan of uw softball from and as to the unavoidable hotness of the stacy nelson posterior indeed a favorable comment contact us powered by wordpress designed by elegant themes Discuss | Bury | News | Suck it world UW Softball National Champions Hotdog amp Friends [...]
Danielle Lawrie is a FAT PIG. But to d-bags like you, she may just decide to crush you when you go down between her enormous thighs! And what’s with the Black-hair/Goth bullshit the Uw team was trying to pull off? Hey Danielle, black is only a sliming color for clothing, not for that giant cranium you’re sporting. Good luck UW fans, as this will be the one sport that you are successful at, and it loses money annually for the school! Now go pay 6.00 for your coffees and whine about how not even the fat, gothic, lesbian softball players won’t return your stalker e-mails! YOU SUCK IT, and enjoy the rain while you do it in your Mom’s basement!
This post is the gift that keeps on giving.
fig jam, you moms basement-dwellin’ macroni eatin SOB – How do you even afford those $6 coffees anyway?
I didn’t even think to try the goth angle in my stalker emails. Now I need to bleach my cock bone white. (read that as either cock-bone white or cock bone-white.) Also need to shave the pubes into a pentagram. Maybe this will get them to respond to the mouth-watering dick pics I send daily.