LeGarrette Blount, Ducks implode

“An inauspicious start for Oregon under Chip Kelly.”

-ESPN’s Mark Jones

How could that have gone worse for Oregon? If you would have hit pause right as the clock hit all zeros of their 19-8 loss to Boise State, and then asked me what Oregon’s worst case scenario for the rest of the night might be…

Never in my wildest dreams would I have guessed this:

In a word, fantastic. Total implosion. The new coach with his vaunted offense (it worked in New Hampshire!) managed zero first downs in the first half. You know who else would have managed zero first downs? Any collection of 11 things you can think of. Kittens. Carnies. Carrots. Name it.

Barring a UW loss of greater than, say, 40 points to LSU on Saturday, I will view the opening weekend of this college football season as a delight. 40 to 50 point loss? A wash.

Seriously, the only way that could have gone worse for Oregon is if new Pac-10 Commissioner Larry Scott was there in person. …Wait. No. Get the fuck out of here! He was there?! Beautiful.

I got home and giddily checked an Oregon message board and was thoroughly entertained. Go there, it’s awesome if they haven’t banned everything yet. (They’re known for that).

The only thing that threatened to put a damper on my night was that my upstairs neighbor had his door open, was playing keyboard, and was belting out a down tempo version of “Don’t Stop Believin'”. I went upstairs to ask him to please quiet down so my wife could get some sleep, and I shit you not this was what I saw:

The man was alone. A beer in his hand. He looked upset. And, I swear to god, he was wearing a bright yellow Oregon Ducks t-shirt.

God Bless America

UPDATE: LeGarrette Blount must go after post-game punch at Boise State (John Canzano – The Oregonian)

UPDATE: Oregon’s LeGarrette Blount suspended for season (The Oregonian)