Brett Favre Announces He Sucks Too Bad To Keep Sucking At Football
Brett Favre announced his retirement again today. To give the legend a proper send-off, here is a guest post written by commentator LS-DubC.
With all the absolutely terrible sports we had to endure in 2008 there has been one issue alone that has driven me to near homicidal levels of anger. This post is an attempt to purge my system of this terrible ball of hate from last year.
Let’s ease into this with one of those blind stat comparisons:
Here we have the 2008 season stats for 3 NFL starting quarterbacks
QB 1-3653 yds, 67.4 CMP %, 19 TD, 7 INT, 97.4 QB RATING (2nd in NFL)
QB 2-4038 yds, 63.6 CMP %, 28 TD, 13 INT, 93.8 QB RATING (6th in NFL)
QB 3-3472 yds, 65.7 CMP %, 22 TD, 22 INT, 81.0 QB RATING (22nd in NFL)
Now how about the last 5 games of the season when it really matters
QB 1-Record (5-0) 187.6 yds per game, 64.8 CMP %, 8 TD, 1 INT, 106.5 QB RATING
QB 2-Record (1-4) 287.8 yds per game, 63.9 CMP %, 11 TD, 4 INT, 101.6 QB RATING
QB 3-Record (1-4) 202.2 yds per game, 56.7 CMP %, 2 TD, 9 INT, 55.8 QB RATING
Wow QB 3 seems like a real piece of shit compared to the other 2 guys. In fact I would imagine he is hated by nearly everyone and is considered to be a huge cry baby ego maniac piece of shit. Oh really, you are telling me is he beloved by the media and is going to the Pro Bowl and the other two aren’t. That seems fair.
The 3 quarterbacks
QB 1- Chad Pennington- The guy who was cut from his team of 8 years the day the messiah landed in New York. The very same guy who lead the Dolphins (1-15 a year ago) to a victory against his old team to secure an 11-5 season and a division championship.
QB 2- Aaron Rodgers- The guy who was booed at practice, at games, and pretty much everywhere else he went in the state of Wisconsin before he even started a game. The guy who has been blamed for their digression and lack of playoff appearance despite having a slightly better statistical season than their QB from last year. It is worth noting that the Green bay’s scoring defense went from 4th in the league in 2007 to 22nd in the league in 2008.
QB 3- You guessed it…Brett Favre. The incredible Quarterback of the New York Brett’s. The QB who was tortured and killed on the cross for our sins only to rise again 3 days later and assent to his Heavenly throne. The guy who can’t walk down the street without a sportscaster trying to mouth-fuck him.
What do NFL GMs want at QB?
or Let’s Stop Worrying About Age and Focus on Production
Constable Echelon
Why are there only a half dozen decent pro quarterbacks? Quarterback is the most glamorous position in American sports. Thousands of kids want to play qb, and sure most of them aren’t 6′2+” or blessed with a cannon for an arm, but enough people are that the Dolphins shouldn’t have been barely able to fill the position last year.
The White Buffalo Prophecy — Or The Inverse Relationship Between Brett Favre and the Milwaukee Brewers
Rejoice, Brewers fans! Now that Brett Favre is out of Green Bay, you’re a virtual lock for the playoffs. For in accordance with the Sioux prophecy of the White Buffalo, Wisconsin can only hold one winning team at a time.
Miracle, White Buffalo and Decider of the Fates of Men
