Not only have we gotten pretty good participation in our past soccer fantasy leagues, but people are having a really fun time. Want proof? Here are some testimonials from past participants.

“Hotdog thanks for putting this awesome World Cup league together! I had a ton of fun although there’s no way I could ever match your skill. You are truly the man.” -Hose

“Hey Bro. When I’m not climbing mountains and shit, I’m playing in Hotdog’s awesome soccer leagues. Can’t wait for EPL Fantasy!” -City

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“I’ve completely changed my opinion of soccer thanks to hotdog’s fantasy leagues! I now think it’s the best sport ever and can’t wait to play in your fantasy league!” -Beef’s Dad

Join today! Details and hot babe pics below the jump:

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Join our EPL fantasy league!

League: “EPL Fantasy Explosion!”
Password: “poop”
Link: http://premierfantasy.soccernet.espn.go.com

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On Wednesday morning at 10 a.m. PST, the Union will select 10 players to form the core of their new team. The rules are the same — each team may protect 11 players, excluding Generation Adidas members (of which the Sounders have none). A list of all unprotected players posted by the intrepid Jose Miguel Romero can be found here.

Last year, I paid little attention to the salary figures of the players, to my detriment. A list of 2009 player salaries, released by the Players Union, can be found here.

Without further ado, here is a photo of some hot soccer babes.

Chivas USA: Marcelo Saragosa (2009 Base Salary: $120k)

Every squad needs a solid defensive midfielder and Saragosa fits the bill here. The Brazilian has kicked the injury problems that threatened to derail his career, starting 15 games between FC Dallas and Chivas USA last season. The best man at his wedding was Kaká.

Striker Chikwudi Chijindu would be a more frugal option.

Chicago Fire: Chris Rolfe ($95.5 k)

Mr. Rolfe, the young, talented attacker, is making nearly 100k/year. It’s a hefty figure, but as the salary budget is expected to increase dramatically in the new Collective Bargaining Agreement (which is being worked out now), that could be less of a hit than in previous years.

Rolfe’s a creative, fast striker who managed six goals in 20 starts last season. The addition of Brian McBride displaced Rolfe to the bench more often than he would have hoped, but the 26-year old was still a key cog in the Fire’s 2009 campaign.

BOOOIIIIOIOIOIOINNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Columbus Crew: Frankie Hejduk ($150k)

Interestingly, the Crew left both marking backs uncovered (Hejduk and Gino Padula). Perhaps gambling on the Union not selecting Hejduk because of his hefty salary ($150k), the veteran would be an excellent tone-setter and leader in the Union locker room.

A possible Hejduk exit could be the first move in a massive shakeup in Ohio. Rumor has it the Crew’s two star players, Robbie Rogers and Guillermo Barros Schelotto, had a falling out with head coach Robert Warzycha. Cutting these two players loose, plus Hejduk, would leave Columbus with bushels of cash to “rebuild” the team that won the Supporter’s Shield for the second consecutive year.

Colorado Rapids: Preston Burpo ($57.8k)

Lots of intriguing options here (Jacob Peterson, UW Graduate Ty Harden among them), but I’ll go with Preston Burpo. A starter-quality goalkeeper, the former Sounder started 11 games in place of #1 Matt Pickens. Seattle did not select a goalkeeper in last year’s Expansion Draft, but I expect that to change with Philadelphia (unless they somehow manage to woo Brad Friedel or Marcus Hahnemann back to the United States).

FC Dallas: none

D.C. United: Ange N’Silu ($65k)

A hunch — I liked what I saw from him. N’Silu is a promising young Congolese attacker who saw limited minutes last year.

Houston Dynamo: Mike Chabala ($34k)

Houston general manager Oliver Luck left plenty of starters on this list, figuring that high salary figures (most north of $150,k) would scare the Union away. Chabala’s more modest number ($34k) seems more reasonable for a defender who started down the stretch for the Dynamo.

Kansas City: Matt Besler ($36k)

A cheap young rookie defender – some had him on the rookie best XI. Started 26 games for the Wizards in 2008.

LA Galaxy: none

New England: Wells Thompson ($34.6k)

When Seattle constructed its first team, they often chose young players who could play multiple positions. Wells fits that bill.

Another value pick, Thompson was on the books for under $35k last season. Wells can play outside midfielder on either side. Fast player who can win balls can always find a spot on the field.

New York Red Bulls: none

Real Salt Lake: Ned Grabavoy ($83.6k)

I’m basing this solely on his tremendous performance in relief of Javier Morales in the MLS Cup.

Seattle Sounders FC: James Riley ($69k)

Across the league, I’ve noticed a trend of outside backs being left unprotected. The Riley exclusion raised some eyebrows around Seattle. Some are looking at Sebastien Le Toux, who never got comfortable in outside midfield and could be of value as a striker, but his six-figure salary is not palatable. Roger Levesque’s 40k is much more attractive, plus he’s also a great character guy.

from: http://www.nextseasonsports.com/2009/03/sounders-fc-nss-exclusive-column-team.html

Final Picks:

Marcelo Saragosa, M
Chris Rolfe, F
Frankie Hejduk, D
Preston Burpo, GK
Ange N’Silu, F
Mike Chabala, D
Matt Besler, D
Wells Thompson, M
Ned Grabavoy, M
James Riley, D

By position:

Goalkeeper: 1
Central Defenders: 0
Marking Backs: 4 (!)
Midfielders: 3
Strikers: 2

Total Salary: ~$745,500

The problem as always with Everton is a lack of money. Adam Smith was quoted once as saying, “Everton are so po’, they can’t afford the “o-r”. So, how to circumvent this problem?

Everton literally took out a 13.67 million pound loan against future tv revenue to pay for new players. Not sure but I don’t believe there is an equivalent to this in top flight American pro sports. Ask Art Modell what happens when you can no longer afford to keep up with fellow owners. (You get run the f out.) With the loan, the money is finally in place for additions on Merseyside.

Still, Everton are at the mercy of an EPL requirement that international loan players must appear in 75% of international games to obtain a work permit. Ever Banega does not meet this qualification as he is only 21, and is from Argentina. There is no shortage of talent ahead of him on the national team, though Banega featured in the Olympics and U-20 World Cup as well as a handful of proper international games.

So will it go through? I’d feel a lot better about the chance if Everton were Manchester United or any of the big four teams. Those teams tend to wield their clout to get what they want in these situations. And honestly they usually don’t have to bring in players on loan because they can just buy a bunch of internationals and loan them elsewhere.

There’s a work permit hearing on Friday to determine if Banega will be allowed to join the Toffees. Until then I’ll just watch this video and dream. In this five minute clip Banega does not score a single goal, but still easily shows that he would be a valuable addition to ANY team in the Premiership.

sexy sounders babe

1.    Kasey Keller

Simply put, Keller’s the best goalkeeper in Major League Soccer history. I defy anyone to refute this. The only possible argument against is that he’s only played half a season so far. But his performances so far for an expansion team have been off the charts. After fretting about the state of the back line in the preseason, Seattle has given up only 16 goals this season – third fewest in MLS.

2.    Osvaldo Alonso

The best defensive midfielder in a league chock-full of them. With all due respect to New England’s Shalrie Joseph, Alonso is the most tenacious defensive player I’ve seen in the league this year. It is impossible to get by him in a one-on-one situation. Add his tireless work ethic, tremendous passing (after initially focusing on completing all of his passes, Alonso’s gotten more confident as the season goes on), and superior speed and quickness put him a level above.

3.    Freddie Ljungberg

Freddie just beats out Sr. Montero for the third spot. He’s been working in increasing his top-end acceleration for the past two weeks while the Sounders take a small break from the MLS schedule. Should he add the ability to beat people with speed (he has not shown this yet – against Houston a breakaway was thwarted by a recovering Julius James) he will be unstoppable coming out of the midfield.

4.    Fredy Montero

Far and away the most technically-gifted player on the team, Montero’s added a renewed focus in the past two months of the season. All credit is due to coach Sigi Schmid, who reduced his minutes as a message to the star striker to start giving a star effort. (Yes, I stole that line from Remember the Titans.)

Montero, from zimbio.com

5.    Brad Evans

The quintessential glue guy, Evans can play anywhere. I dare say he might have success as a forward, if they ever deployed him there. Cerebral, athletic, good in the air, and displaying leadership qualities beyond his years. He is rightfully getting a chance to play for his country in the Gold Cup – experience that can only benefit him when he returns to Seattle.

Also receiving votes: Steve Zakuani, James Riley

One of my favorite movie quotes comes from “Top Gun” when Viper (Tom Skerritt), the hardnosed flight instructor charged with running the Navy’s Top Gum program, stares out into a briefing room full of hotshot young pilots and cooly declares, “Remember Gentlemen, There are no points for second place.” 

Generally, when it comes to sports I tend to believe that’s true (or, if you prefer a less dated movie reference I could refer you the newly minted, “if you’re not first, you’re last”).  From a competition perspective (ie removing all the financial implications from a second place finish), second place is meaningless.  The idea behind competing is to win and so if you do not win, then it is fairly irrelevant where you wound up in the overall scheme of things.  As Nelly says, “Two is not a winner and three nobody remembers.” 

Therefore, I feel a little bit odd as I take the position that the USA Soccer team actually came out ahead this past weekend when it lost to Brazil, 3-2, in the Confederations cup final in South Africa.  Seriously,  I think that’s true.  I’m not going to say that they came out farther ahead than had they won the tournament, but I’m not convinced that isn’t true either.  Ultimately, I think that the USA’s second place finish holds great value to the team and stands to benefit the squad by paying major dividends down the road.  Here’s why:

1.  The US team played well in the final game.  This is really important.  After the Spain game it was crucial that the US team come out and compete against Brazil.  Let’s not forget that earlier in that same week the US team had gotten trounced by the Brazilians 3-0.  In that game, Brazil was up 2-0 twenty-five minutes in.  It wasn’t close.   If that had happened again in the finals, the world would have written off the US win over Spain as a fluke and thought no more of the American team. 

In the finals, however, it was the US team that jumped up early on Brazil, capitalizing on a nice cross from Spector and a bit of a lucky finish from Clint Dempsey (note:  nothing wrong with being lucky.  Not meant to take anything away from the goal).  Heading into the locker room,  it was the Yanks who held a 2-0 lead.  While it’s true that Brazil came out in the second half and dominated play, eventually pouring in 3  goals, The USA’s first half made everyone, even Europe (although they will pretend it didn’t), take notice.  After vanquishing Spain in the Semi-finals 2-0, team USA came out and beat Brazil in the first half of the finals 2-0. 

There was no letdown and it was not a case where a clearly overmatched team, high off the improbable victory over the Spaniards, was brought crashing back to reality by the mighty Brazilians.  Instead, it was Brazil who went into the locker room flustered and embarassed.  It was Brazil’s coach Dunga who needed to find a way to turn the  tide of the game.  While he certainly did that, the American squad still managed to get his full attention and that of the rest of the world, as it enjoyed it’s third consecutive half of winning soccer over the world’s #1 and #2 teams.  In the end victory was not for USA, but the message was sent.   The US team earned their second place finish – they deserved it.   

2.  Donovan’s goal was nothing short of world class.  One of the things that great teams do is score goals that are absolutely majestic.  One touch passes move the ball around quickly and when the ball is ultimately put on goal there is no chance for the goalkeeper.  It is a thing of beauty to watch such a goal.  Against Spain, the United State’s scored goals that were gritty and opportunistic.  Altidore’s goal took advantage of the Spanish Goalkeeper’s off balance approach and even though it was deflected, found its way into the back of the net.  For his goal, Clint Dempsey simply robbed Spanish defender Sergio Ramos after Ramos inexplicably trapped a ball inside his own 6 yard box.  Both goals were fantastic and to succeed a team needs to take advantage of every opportunity that it is presented, but I would not say that either goal made the soccer world sit up and take notice. 

However, Landon Donovan’s counter-attacking goal against Brazil, orchestrated with Charlie Davies, was absolutely brilliant.   Streaking up the field in a 2 on 2 situation Donovan played a great ball into space for Davies to run onto.  Davies then hit a first time cross that was perfectly positioned and allowed Donovan to receive the ball on the edge of the eighteen yard box without interference  from the Brazilian defender.  Donovan took one touch to the inside, turning his man around and taking him out of the play, before burying the ball in the corner of the net with a great left footed strike.  It was clinical. 

I imagine that most European soccer fans who watched the US v. Spain game would say something along the lines of: “Yeah it’s great that the US scored 2 goals and shut Spain out.  However, if  Iker Casillas (Spain’s goalkeeper) had not been off balance then he would have saved Altidore’s shot.  Likewise, if Ramos had simply cleared the cross off the line like he was supposed to, Dempsey never would have gotten that second goal.  Credit to the Americans for taking advantage of the opportunities they had, but shame on Spain for allowing those opportunities to present themselves.”

But with Donovan’s goal in the Brazil game there can be no such analysis or qualifying.  That was simply a great play.  There was nothing Brazil could have done differently to prevent the goal.  The US was better the entire length of the field and executed several difficult passes before Donovan buried a ball where no goalkeeper in the world could have gotten to it.   Even the harshest critic of US Soccer would have to concede that on that play, the US was the superior side.

Now, it’s just my opinion, but I believe that when the rest of the world takes measure of the US team following the Confederations Cup, it will look at that goal and be genuinely impressed/concerned.  Excuses can be made for much of what happened leading up to that moment in time, but for that brief period, the USA was better than Brazil.

3.  The US Team isn’t ready to deal with the Expectations that Winning would have brought.  The American public is not very realistic in its demands on it sports teams.  I guess no fan base really is.  The bottom line, however, is that if the US had beaten Brazil in the Confederations Cup there would be a large population of newly minted US Soccer fans that would believe and expect that the US team would be a favorite headed into next year’s World Cup. 

Moving forward, the US fan base would expect nothing less than sustained excellence and excuse me for saying this but I’m not sure if this team is ready for that.  This team is young and as we saw in the weeks preceding Confederations Cup and then again against Italy and Brazil in the group stages of play, this is a team still prone to lapses and periods of uninspired play.    I think it’s great that they got things turned around against Egypt and then stunned Spain, but realistically, this team still needs room to grow.  Their showing in the finals is an accurate representation of where they are.  Close, but not there yet.   Again this is only my opinion, but I believe that the shade that second place provides is much preferable to the bright lights that winning would have brought. 

Now, the US team can return to World Cup qualifying (and Gold Cup play) with the knowledge and confidence that it can compete with any team in the world.  That is good.  It does not, however, have to deal with the pressure of being considered (if only by Americans) to be one of the world’s elite.  That title can remain safely where it belongs – with teams like Spain, Brazil, and Italy.  Teams with World Cup trophies and full of players who play on the marquee teams in the best leagues in the world. 

In the meantime, the Americans can go about qualifying for another World Cup and attempt to build on the success (and learn from the failures) that came out of the Confederations Cup.  If they do, then the day is not to far off when following a game against a European or South American powerhouse, the US team will be able to look eye to eye with their opponents and feel as though they are truly equals.   A day when an exhausted Kaka will walk up to Michael Bradley and say, “Hey you play a pretty good brand of futbal, you can play out on my wing anytime.”  Bradley of course will respond, “Bullshit, you can play out on mine.” 

So, for a brief period I am going to take a break from criticizing the US Mens Soccer team.  Yesterday’s win over Spain was epic and bought the squad sufficient capital to carry them through next summer’s World Cup. 

I have to admit that the victory was an absolute shock to me (and I’m assuming I’m not alone on that).  I figured that the Egypt win was nice, but that when it came to a country with the credentials that Spain had, there was no chance.   Top to bottom, the Spanish lineup is just absurd.  I still can’t quite figure out how the US went into that game and came away with the victory, but as Rece Davis mentioned during the postgame coverage, one of Lou Holtz’s favorite sayings is, “you don’t have to be the best team in the world, just the best team in the stadium.”  Yesterday the USA was, well probably still not the best team in stadium, but it was the only team that scored and in a sport that is determined by a points system, that is very important.   

All I can say is,  I’m glad that US Soccer is now sufficiently popular in this country that when they are struggling, people notice.  For probably the first time ever, a US Soccer coach was under fire and the team faced negative media coverage for their perceived lack of effort and cohesiveness in the past few months.  Let’s hope the US builds on this win and doesn’t suffer any more embarassing setbacks when it returns to World Cup qualifying.  While I don’t think this win makes the US one of the world powerhouses in the sport, it does show that they can and should compete with any team that they go up against.

Oh, and for the record – I don’t think they are going to beat Brazil on Sunday – but I’m ok with that.       

Since the 1994 World Cup, the United States Men’s National Team has attempted to build itself with a succession of US born coaches. Why?

In 1990 Hungarian born coach Bob Gansler led the United States to its first World Cup since 1950. Sure the team was demolished in Italia ‘90, but just qualifying earned the ‘90 team a special place in US Soccer history.

The pressure was on in 1994 as the United States hosted the World Cup amid international concerns over the historical weakness of the US National Team and the lack of a domestic outdoor league. US Soccer turned to Serbian Bora Milutinovic to mold the US team into a competitive unit. The US won an improbable victory over a heavily favored Colombian team in the Rose Bowl and advanced to the second round, losing to Brazil despite playing much of the game with a man advantage.

The reputation of the United States as a soccer power had grown so much by this time that Colombian Andres Escobar was murdered for his own goal that cost Colombia their tournament run. The message was clear: Lose to the terrible US and it will cost you your life.

Having qualified for consecutive World Cups and advancing past the first round in 1994 apparently completely satisfied the powers that be at the US Soccer Federation. The USSF effectively stated, “Thanks internationally experienced coaches, but we’ll take it from here.”

Enter Steve Sampson, Bruce Arena, and now Bob Bradley.

Steve Sampson presided over the horrific 1998 World Cup where the US lost to Iran and finished 32nd out of 32 teams in the competition.

In 2002 Bruce Arena enjoyed the greatest modern success of any US coach, surprising Portugal’s “Golden Generation” in a classic 3-2 victory that spawned Jack Edwards’ hilarious call at the final whistle, “MINE EYES HAVE SEEN THE GLORY!!” That team exploited an absurdly favorable second round matchup against Mexico to reach the quarterfinals, an unfathomable feat.

The 2002 team honestly might have damned the US National Team from further progression through the present day. When you look back at that tournament, the US were maybe just as lucky as they were good. The US got up 3-0 on a Portugal team that clearly did not expect any sort of challenge. By the time Portugal realized they had a fight on their hands it was just too late. Portugal still battled back to come within one goal of stealing a draw. If the game had gone on ten minutes longer, they likely get that goal.

The US followed up that win with a bitterly contested 1-1 draw with host South Korea. Then the US with their tournament on the line lost 3-1 to an already eliminated Poland team and required outside help from South Korea to ensure their advancement. 4 points. That’s it.

But forget all that. US Soccer’s home grown coach strategy had been justified. The team reached the quarterfinals!

At present, US born coach Bob Bradley is at the helm of a US team that to this point has been largely listless in qualifying for the 2010 World Cup. They appear to be riding reputation more than anything in less than inspiring results over the minnows of CONCACAF. And when I say minnows of CONCACAF I mean everyone except for the US and Costa Rica. Mexico is horrendous all of a sudden.

Funny thing about that reputation of US Soccer: what is it? It’s one of a team that in its best years has shown the ability to cobble together 4 points and bilk other teams’ misfortunes to sneak into the second round of the World Cup Finals. Honestly, who do we think we are?

In comparison, England recently turned to Swedish coach Sven Goran Eriksson and now Italian Fabio Capello to guide their national team in efforts to replicate their championship of 1966. Don’t you think that the venerated tradition of British soccer could produce better coaches than the United States? You would be correct. But England doesn’t want to participate. They want to win.

The US on the other hand seems content to trot out coaches whose previous biggest games were either NCAA Tournament competition or MLS playoffs. Both the NCAA and MLS have an important place in the development of the US game, but let’s get real.

Eriksson and Capello between them have coached Juventus, Real Madrid, Benfica, Milan, and Roma. When they stand on the sideline for World Cup competition they have the benefit of having coached in games of similar magnitude. When Sampson, Arena, or Bradley man the sideline for the US in World Cup competition it is the biggest game of their lives. The international coaches have the benefit of having their tactics vetted by top notch European competition. With the US coaches, they just hope whatever they have works.

In England the players can look to the coach for a steady hand and a stabilizing effect. In the US the coaches through their inexperience are just as shell shocked as the players.

What makes this extra frustrating is that personnel wise the United States have made the right moves. The team is full of young talent in the likes of Jozy Altidore, Sacha Kljestan, and Michael Bradley among many others. Wouldn’t these players benefit more from an internationally established coach with a proven record of success?

Wouldn’t an international coach provide needed pressure on domestic players such as Landon Donovan to search out tougher competition abroad or risk not making the team?

Steve Sampson enjoyed great success as an assistant at UCLA, and later at Santa Clara. Bruce Arena built by far the best reputation of the three at Virginia. Bob Bradley was an assistant at Virginia before coaching Princeton and later a handful of MLS teams. These are great coaches if you want to win in NCAA Division One. When it comes to the World Cup, we appear to be getting what we pay for.

The US still has time to salvage the 2010 World Cup with a coaching change. Bob Bradley has succeeded in integrating a new generation of US players into the national team. He has coached his son Michael Bradley into a savvy holding midfielder with international potential. That’s a fine legacy. I would however like the team to compete, and not be satisfied with just qualifying for the World Cup. To that end I believe finding an established international coach is the next step in the maturation of the US National Team.

from bleacherreport.com

First he decides to spurn the country of his birth to play for Italy. And then he scores a stunner against us in the Confederations Cup. Total dick move.

You know who else is a dick? Daniele De Rossi. He gets suspended for four games for elbowing Brian McBride in the head and then he scores the second goal. And then that cunthole Rossi hits the third. America loses, 3-1.

Long story short: if your last name has “Rossi” in it, you’re probably not my favorite person right now. That goes for you, too.

That being said, I thought Michael Bradley turned in a transcendent performance for the Americans today. He was all over the field, breaking up attacks and getting the United States started on the counter. Were it not for a couple of pussy-footed finishing attempts, Sam’s Army could have been up 2-0 or 3-0 at halftime.

I wish I could say the same for Benny Feilhaber, but his weak turnover led to Rossi’s first goal. One wonders how quickly we can get Jermaine Jones into camp.

What did you think of the Americans today? Leave your comments below.

As this article attests, the Sounders have had difficulty finding the right balance with Freddie Ljungberg and Montero. They are, in effect, the same type of player – both command the ball to their feet in the offensive third.

They may have found the solution, but I believe a bigger, speedier player would solve Sounders FC’s biggest offensive concern – the inability to finish crosses. On the left, Steve Zakuani has been dumping in crosses at a remarkable rate. However, most fans I’ve spoken with believe the ratio of goals to good chances is surprisingly low. The result: Seattle players walking out of the stadium with a tie or a loss after outplaying their opponents.

Finally, I believe Seattle fans wouldn’t be sorry to see Montero leave. He’s been drawing an increasing amount of ire for his perceived lack of toughness. Time and again, Montero goes to ground in search of a whistle that never comes. A star in his debut, the public opinion has steadily moved to the negative over the past three months. Currently, Sounders FC fans view him as a petulant star, a primadonna not tough enough to compete in Major League Soccer.

Another player who may not be pleased with Montero is Ljungberg. Against San Jose, Montero effectively stole a ball from Ljungberg, only to turn it over a moment later. Confidence is one thing, but the younger players need to defer to the veterans.

That’s my two cents. If not Findley, guys like Ryan Johnson, Patrick Nyarko, Josh Wolff, or Omar Cummings would also fit the bill. I also really like what I see from Yura Movsisyan – I may be alone here though.

This idle speculation may not even be necessary – since Montero is on loan from his Colombian team, I am unsure of the mechanics of such a transaction. But it’s interesting to think about.

What do you think? Montero’s been more dangerous as of late – should we keep him? If you Adrian Hanauer’s job for a day, what is the one personnel move you would make?

(The latter move is pending the player and club coming together over wages.)

This is what $205 million looks like. The total in the Real deals is $228.6 million.

What do you think about these events? What happens if they both tear their ACLs in the preseason????!?!?!?

If the US Men’s Soccer Team wants to be taken seriously, it needs to step up.  Going out in World Cup Qualifying and getting hammered 3-1 by Costa Rica (and the one goal came in stoppage time on a penalty) isn’t going to get it done.

Last night’s effort was patently ridiculous.  Costa Rica’s midfielders and strikers were allowed to roam free in the American side without consequence.  It took Costa Rica less than two full minutes to score.  In the end, they scored three goals on only five shots on goal.

Damarcus Beasley played so poorly it was embarrassing.  If he can’t control a simple pass when it is played to his feet, he needs to be on the sidelines.

Likewise, Landon Donovan needs to figure something out.  He’s invisible as a midfielder.  I know the idea is that he’s going to set the table for the strikers (Adu, Altidore, Dempsey), but he didn’t get it done.

His service on the set pieces was also subpar.  With the announcers continually talking about how bouncy and unpredictable the turf was, it was maddening to see Donovan try and slot two low balls into the box.  Why not play to the strength of the team and give the taller US players a chance to score in the air?

Equally ineffective was Michael Bradley.  The thing that stuck out most about Bradley was his bright yellow shoes.  Here’s a little piece of advice:  If  you want to pull of that whole ‘flamboyant superstar’ look, it helps if you are mildly competent on the field.

Ultimately, the US could not control the ball at all and resorted to playing long passes over the top and trying to let the strikers run onto it.  Costa Rica figured this out early and defensed it well.  About the best the US could hope for was that a striker would be fouled, giving the US a chance to score on a set piece (see above for how well that worked).

The US team plays again on Saturday, in Chicago, and needs to bring a better effort to the field.  What we saw last night was a team that does not deserve to play in World Cup 2010.

The best word to describe this guy was a drip. With man-tits. Just a complete loser – unskilled, but ANGRY. He took it upon himself to repeatedly hack down our best player in the most ungraceful manner, who, of course, wasn’t going to take this lying down.

Stoner Ref (Guys? Can you like…guys?) wasn’t going to take any responsibility to punish these transgressions, so things got out of hand. Things really jumped up a notch – and quickly.

There may allegedly been a challenge to fight in the parking lot. The cops could have been called, hypothetically. 
But the fault lies with the douchebag. If you’ve ever played in a men’s league, you’ve probably encountered these guys. While soccer players can all be douche-y in their own special ways, these are the six most common archetypes of the men’s league D-Bag.

The Football Player

Now noticeably overweight, this guy played football (or thought he did) in high school. Side note: Just because you are now fat in your late 20s does not make you a “football player.” No matter how much you would like to believe that. You’re just fat. Sorry.

Anyways, the football player tries to make up for what he lacks in skill with INTENSITY. And is waaaay too intense for everyone on the field. He’ll usually start 1-2 altercations on the field by clattering into someone awkwardly and/or getting in someone’s face about it. Go join a rugby team. This guy is a complete and utter douchebag.

The Fat Guy Who Yells

If the average age of his team is x, then this guy is usually x+5. Generally some sort of middle manager at work, the fat guy thinks the ass-kissing he gets at work will transfer into the game. Sadly, on the field he is just another douchebag. You’ll see him rolling around the field, shouting instructions, and not playing defense.

This guy also likes to yell at the ref. Why? What’s the point? When the legs stop moving, the mouth starts. The FGWY is especially infuriating if he’s British, which seems to happen a lot.

The Guy Who Didn’t Wash His Jersey

The best way to create space. When crossed with the guy who wears sweatpants/jean shorts/polo shorts; a lethal combination of le douche sans un douche.

The Fake Gangster

Look at Johnny Tough Guy. This guy is a fucking prick. Usually younger, also sometimes with a shaved head. Can be a decent player, but talks a ton of shit while doing it. He needs to be brought down with the utmost haste. Doesn’t know how to take a foul with the proper modesty; everything is an affront to him.

Yes, you did get fouled…now move on. Nobody’s “got beef” with you.

Frank Lampard

Total. Douche.

The Diver

If the referee doesn’t take control of the situation, and he usually won’t, the diver can also cause a fight with his douchiness. Especially when he dives in the box. Nothing will make a team see collective red than a dive in the box rewarded with a penalty kick.

This guy is basically the equivalent to the guy who tries to draw walks in rec league softball.

The guy who wanted to tussle with us was a combination of this and the fake gangster (although, to be fair, he also smelled). 

In the end, cooler heads prevailed and we got out of there before the po-po showed up. But it all could have been avoided – in the end, a douchebag is a douchebag. My advice: deal with them harshly on the field, try to avoid a red card while doing so, and leave it at that.

Nothing ruins an opening night like bird carcasses strewn about the stadium. According to a source close to the team, Seattle Sounders FC has abandoned plans to have doves fly around Qwest Field on Opening Night after at least three were killed by marauding hawks.

During a dry-run of Opening Night festivities last Thursday, the soccer team released several white doves from the tunnel, which were supposed to fly around the stadium a bit before returning to their home in Auburn (or thereabouts). However, they soon found themselves in peril as three hawks dive-bombed the easy targets.

What happened after was nothing short of a symbolism-laden massacre. One hawk reportedly killed a dove, dropped the carcass into the stands, and then went back for seconds.

Thanks for the free dinner!

I still hope the club changes its mind and flies doves on Opening Night – this would be up their with the Blue Angels as the coolest thing any of us will ever see.

Last year’s competition featured a tremendous late-season surge by Hose. In the face of furious boredom, Hose updated his team just often enough to pip Hotdog for the trophy. (I think this is what happened – I don’t actually remember.)

In 2008, we also saw a number of hot babes in the competition (two, I think).

But seriously, fantasy is a great way to get to know your favorite MLS players. And since yours truly is in the MLS Experts Fantasy League, you can say you challenged a professional! Details below:

soundersfc.com

Here’s what to do – click the link below to get started:

1: Go to http://mlsfantasy.soccernet.com/

2: Click on Register and go through the registration and team selection process – it’s totally free to play

3: Once you are on your team line-up page click on Mini League and type the following information in the Join A Mini League boxes:

League Name: Hotdog & Friends
Password: ljungberg

If you listen closely, you can almost hear the defenders screaming “No me gusta!”

(Sidenote: video experience may be enhanced with liberal use of ecstacy and glowsticks)

Besides losing 20 pounds (totally going to happen), how else will I better myself in the new year?

4. Go see Abdul Gaddy, Josh Smith and Tony Wroten play.

cnnsi.com

Jamal Crawford, Doug Wrenn, Brandon Roy, Nate Robinson, Will Conroy, Tre Simmons, Jon Brockman, Ryan Appleby, Martell Webster, Spencer Hawes, Marcus Williams, Terrence Williams, Isaiah Thomas and countless others. Even Brian Morrison. Maybe especially Brian Morrison. He must have balled to get that UNC scholarship!

If I could go back in time and watch these guys play high school hoops for $5 would I? Absolutely I would. I can’t think of a better way to spend a Friday night.

All three will be in the house for this year’s King Holiday Hoopfest on January 19th (aka Fig Jam’s birthday). That is too perfect to pass on.

3. Add Joe Posnanski to national columnist rotation.

I’m always on the hunt for good sportswriting, and there are only so many Jamboroos one can wade through before noticing they’re all the same (quite good, but the same). Is it too much to ask that I be entertained and edified? Of course not.

Everyone reads Bill Simmons, who is enjoying a mild renaissance (not that he ever slipped that far). Jason Whitlock has been off the chains at Fox Sports recently with his highly entertaining ESPN lambasting.

One guy who is a little under the radar is the KC Star’s “other” columnist Joe Posnanski. Posnanski is one of the best baseball writers going (and if there’s one thing left to respect about baseball, it’s that it boasts by far the best writing). Having checked out KC Joe’s offerings on CNNSI over the past few weeks I can relay that they are meaty and entertaining. Posnanski has been around the block, and his broad perspective is one to bask in.

2. Attend first Pac-10 football road game.

oregonstate.edu

Of these four, this is one that could be tabled. I have no shame in admitting the idea of driving to Corvallis to watch a likely poor (but improving!) Husky team holds minimal appeal. If I’m going to invest a weekend I’d like to see a win. Of the two great sporting shames in my life, the fact that I’ve yet to attend a Husky road football game ranks right below that I’ve never watched He Got Game except for brief segments on cable. God that’s embarrassing to admit.

1. Go to Sounders opener.

seattlest.com

The first sporting event I ever attended I don’t even remember. It was a Sounders game in the early 80s. The first team I ever loved? Tacoma Stars of the Major Indoor Soccer League in the mid 80s (Preki=God). The point is that local soccer has a rich tradition, and hopefully this game is one you’ll be proud to have attended decades down the line.

The Sounders open up on March 19th against the New York Red Bulls.

What are your new year sports resolutions?

Let me preface this post by saying I have the utmost confidence in the Sounders FC braintrust: GM Adrian Hanauer and Technical Director Chris Henderson. Between Hanauer’s insane attention to detail and Henderson’s personal experience from his successful, decade-long MLS career, they have access to more knowledge than the casual fan could ever dream of.

Sounders FC even retained the services of player-scouting firm Match Analysis, which keeps records, statistics, and video for nearly every player in the world. In fact, they conducted the draft from the Match Analysis headquarters in California.

Now that we have that out of the way, let the second-guessing begin! (You can view the official press release here.)

"How's your mum?"

Nate Jaqua (Striker, Houston Dynamo)
No surprises here. With Jaqua, Sounders FC acquire a hard-nosed, skilled target forward. He’s shown the ability to score goals at every level. His work ethic and attitude also embody Seattle’s philisophical approach of pressure and positive football.

Hanauer confirmed discussion have been taking place between the two teams since Jaqua returned from Austria.

Brad Evans (Midfielder, Columbus)
A bit of a surprise her, in my mind – I thought they would go with Eddie Gaven. But I will defer to the expertise of Henderson, who played with Gaven in New York and knows him very well. I wouldn’t personally consider Gaven a headcase, or someone with a poor work ethic, but Henderson might know something I don’t.  

Salary concerns may have also played a part here – Evans makes a great deal less then Gaven and could be considered a “value” pick. He was certainly a key cog in Columbus’ championship run.

Jeff Parke (Defender, New York)
Yikes. This pick raises eyebrows. Parke’s a huge gamble, for three reasons:

1. Parke made MLS history by being the first player (along with Jon Conway) to be suspended for using performance-enhancing drugs. As such, he’ll miss the first four games of next season.
   
2. Parke’s the only player of these 10 who’s not currently contracted to the league. Rumors have been swirling that he’s headed to Europe in the offseason and could walk away, leaving Sounders FC with nothing. And…
   
3. Since he’s not under contract, he can command a big money salary from Hanauer. (Some have his price tag at north of $100k/season, which is big money in Major League Soccer. Honest! Trust me!)

Nobody’s questioning his talent – he is an above-average MLS defender. Whether he ever suits up for the Green and Blue is another question entirely.

Jeff Parke

James Riley (Utility, San Jose)
I didn’t know a ton about James Riley going in, but he did start 23 games last season for the Earthquakes. His main attribute is his versatility – he can play in every position. A safe pick: Riley’s a solid professional and is at the age (26) where young men settle down and get serious about their occupation. Supposedly.

Khano Smith (Midfielder, New England)
With the wealth of outside midfielders available (Gaven, Jorge Flores, Johann Smith), color me surprised by the inclusion of Bahaman sensation Khano Smith.

Jarrod Smith (Striker, Toronto FC)
Huh? Who? Don’t you mean Johann Smith?

That’s a synopsis of the discussion on the Big Soccer and Goal Seattle message boards. Johann, arguably the fastest player in MLS, was predicted to be a shoo-in by many people, including myself. Jarrod Smith’s a good player in his own right. Henderson described him as a hungry player with a great deal of upside.

One possible drawback: He’s in the player pool for New Zealand and may miss part of next season playing for his country in the 2009 Confederations Cup.

Nathan Sturgis (Defender/Midfielder, Real Salt Lake)
As expected. Another versatile guy, I can see Sturgis lining up in defense, a role he filled for the U-20s in the 2005 World Youth Championships. A heady soccer player, Sturgis possesses the ability to know where the ball should go and the feet to get it there.

An excellent player who will find the field as a starter from Day 1.

Tyson Wahl (Defender, Kansas City)
Solid young defender. Great pick. I feel like an idiot for not including him in our preview. Here he is getting dropped by Eddie Robinson. Welcome to the leauge, rook-job!

With only three defenders selected in the expansion draft, Hanauer sends a strong signal that he is going to lock up some defenders from his USL team. Taylor Graham, who’s Wikipedia page briefly listed him as a member of Sounders FC, is one such defender. Danny Jackson, the skipper and Graham’s partner in central defense, could be another.