Lord knows it isn’t ideal given that we were a top-25 team before conference play, but given how far we’ve fallen it might even be better than we deserve.  If there was a stronger bubble this year we’d already be prepping an NIT preview.  So where do we stand in terms of the field of 64?  It’s actually very simple…

Right now Arizona State is the last team in and we’re the first team out.  If the Pac-10 tournament holds to form we’ll play them in the semis.  If the tournament DOESN’T hold to form (aka, either us or ASU loses their first round game) the team that fucks up ain’t going.  If ASU and UW hold serve and play each other, it’s essentially an elimination game with the winner making the field. 

Of course, this is assuming that Cal handles their business on the other side of the bracket.  If a team that isn’t the Bears wins the Pac-10 Tournament then it’s all fucked – even if we beat ASU and made the finals, a bad loss in the final to an Arizona or UCLA might turn the league back to a one bid conference again.

So there you go.  It’s actually very simple, unless it isn’t.  Here’s the summary: KEEP WINNING.  Also, if anyone has sugestions for how I can dislike ASU, please help.  I’d love to hate them but there are just a few things that prevent me every time…

Sark hauled in a big one.

The line on the Arizona State v. Washington game this week opened at ASU -3.5.   As of this morning, it is ASU -6.5 .  So a lot of action on the Sun Devils in this one.

Additionally, Ted Miller picked ASU to win the game 24-20, based largely on their talent on defense.  Miller states that ASU has a “huge advantage” on defense. 

Nick Daschel also picks ASU in this one 23-20, saying that ASU’s defense might be the “nastiest” that UW has faced all season (implication that ASU’s D is nastier than LSU’s, and USC’s, and Arizona’s, and Notre Dame’s). 

So, that’s the consensus in this game I guess.  ASU over UW.  Vegas has been on that and the two guys who pay the most attention to the Pac-10 believe that as well.  I have to be honest, I am a little perplexed.  I realize that I am a husky fan, so take everything in this post with a grain of salt, but here’s why I am confused with the predictions for this game:

ASU’s schedule.  I checked out the Sun Devil’s schedule and it is shocking.  They have beaten Idaho State, the University of Louisiana Monroe, and Washington State.  Those schools have a combined record of 5-13.  ASU’s two losses have come at Georgia, and at home to Oregon State (combined record of  7-5).  That’s 12-18 (winning percentage of 40). 

ASU’s defense.    Both Miller and Daschel mention the ASU defense when making their picks.  I checked and it is definitely the case that ASU’s defense has had some monster games.  Against Idaho State the ASU D surrendered only 37 total yards.  They got 4 INT’s and 2 fumbles and had 2 sacks as well.   Against WSU, ASU had 12 sacks (seriously).  This led to -54 yards rushing for WSU.  The Sun Devils also had 2 INT’s and recovered 2 fumbles.  Thus, in those 2 games, ASU’s D came up with 6 INT’s, 4 fumbles, and 14 sacks.  Obviously those numbers are staggering.  However – so is the quality of the opponent against whom those statistics were compiling. 

However, if you look at ASU’s defense against Georgia and Oregon State, the numbers are different.  Against those 2 squads, the Sun Devils came away with 3 INT’s, 2 Fumbles, and 1 sack.  I would attribute these differences to the fact that Georgia and OSU are decent D1 teams.  Georgia gained 334 total yards on ASU ( 92 rushing, 242 passing) and OSU had 295 total yards (79 rushing and 216 passing).  In total, that’s an average of 314.5 yards a game (85.5 rushing and 229 passing).   Those statistics put the ASU defense on par with Cinncinati or Boston College.  When you combine in the games against WSU and Idaho State though (along with the ULM game, 262 yards given up), ASU’s defense goes WAY down in yards to 221 a game.  This puts them on par with some of the best defenses in the Country. 

S0 my question is this:  What should I make of the ASU defense?  Should I assume that it doesn’t matter who the opponent is because every team plays some weaker teams at some point during a season?  I’m not sure.  Personally, I’m inclined to believe that ASU’s schedule has probably helped out their defensive stats.  Getting Idaho State and Washington State – 2 offenses that are not Pac 10 caliber – has really bolstered the ASU D. 

ASU’s offense.  Against WSU, ASU turned the ball over 6 times.  Their starting Qb Danny Sullivan is completing just 53.5 percent of his passes, with 5 INT’s to only 4 TD’s.  Yet, that being said, the ASU offense has put up a fair amount of yardage this season.  3 times this season ASU has put up more than 400 yards (Idaho State -   407,  Oregon State – 406, Washington State – 410).  Are we to attribute that to the competition?  Oregon State is supposed to have a good defense.

Washington Schedule.  Almost the exact opposite of the ASU schedule, has been the quality of the opponents that UW has faced.  To date, UW’s opponents are a combined 25-8 (75%).  They all have winning records.  Arizona is the worst at 3-2.  Idaho may be the weakest team that UW has faced, although the vandals are 5-1. UW’s 3 victories are Idaho, USC, Arizona.  All home wins for the Huskies.  Perhaps it is UW’s road woes that has contributed to the notion that ASU is the comfortable favorite.

Jake Locker.  I don’t think there is any argument that in Saturdays match-up, Jake Locker is going to be the best player on the field.  I know ASU has a stud freshman linebacker in Vontaze Burfict, but I think Locker’s play this year has elevated him the level of being one of the best players in the conference.  When I pick games, I generally look at 2 things as being extremely important.  Defense and Quarterback play.  Interestingly, in this matchup, each team has 1 and is completely devoid of the 2nd.  UW has a great QB and a questionable (read: bad) Defense, and ASU has a solid defense and a troublespot at Qb.   What fascinates me about this week’s game is that Vegas and the analysts have apparently weighed the play of Locker against that of the ASU defense, and unanimously determined that ASU’s defense will have the upperhand.

Anyways, this is one of those posts that has the potential to come back and make me look real dumb (not much of a feat, but nonetheless).  I’m not really trying to make the case of why I thought UW would get more respect in this match-up, but I did want to point out a few stats that fascinated me about this game, compared against the unanimous opinion that this is ASU’s game to win.  The Pac 10 experts think so, and so does Vegas.  I think this fact illuminates that while UW may be a great story this season – when push comes to shove, they are still not looked upon as a team to be reckoned with.   When it comes to predictions and gambling, UW is still a marked program. 

Ultimately, when it comes to UW football these days, picking them as a favorite on the road is a stretch no matter who the opponent.  They simply have not won a meaningful road contest in too long.  I suppose more than anything else that could be the most important factor.     I was just surprised at how fast this game went from pick ‘em (hometeam -3.5), to a consensus ASU win.   We shall see.

This is a picture I took with my Blackberry of my TV screen.  It’s pretty good, but I wonder if the replay officials in the UW vs. Notre Dame game might have had even better technology…

The picture below is Notre Dame’s two point conversion attempt with 1:20 left in the game. The runner Robert Hughes is clearly down with the ball well short of the goal line. If the runner were correctly called down, then Erik Folk’s field goal for Washington with :06 left would have been for the win instead of the tie.

After they took away Chris Polk’s TD on a play where both of the NBC announcers agreed that it was a touchdown, don’t you think they could have looked at this?

It’s not even close.

Were you wondering about the weird sweaty square under the numbers on so many of the UW players this season? There is a great blurb on the Uni Watch Blog explaining why it happens…

[The jerseys] are made by Nike, and have unusual tailoring patterns that mix and match different fabrics, some of which absorb moisture differently than others. (You can see the different fabric on the UW jersey here.) So when a player sweats, some of the fabric zones end up looking darker. Let’s call this phenomenon the sweatbox.

So there you go.

I applaud Abdul Gaddy’s efforts to take our minds off whatever that was that happened on Saturday.

Was someone looking for that Husky Arrogance that WSU fans are always complaining about?  Found it! 

This week, as USC prepares to take on Washington State in the Coliseum, USC head Coach Peter Carroll (why doesn’t anyone ever call him Peter?)  may need to spend a little extra time working with his scout teams.  The problem, as I see it, is that the USC offensive and defensive scout teams are going to be running WSU’s gameplan a little too effectively. 

During practice on Tuesday Carroll could be heard screaming at scout team members as they competently ran their plays, made it to their blocking assignments, and executed basic offensive and defensive schemes.  “Looks to me like you didn’t even watch the film on these guys,” Carroll huffed at his scout team coach, who was visibly shaken upon learning that in the 2 days since he had installed the WSU gameplan, his players had picked it up and were now running it better than the incoming Cougar team.  After practice, the coach vowed that on Wednesday, his players would turn the ball over more, protect the quarterback less, and just generally behave in a manner more consistent with Washington State’s “mass confusion” style of play.      “Tomorrow I plan to unveil the ‘no-huddle, no we are in a huddle, wait-what’s a huddle,  offense.’  I’m confident that nobody will understand what’s going on.”

To help with the atmosphere that comes with a WSU trip into town, Carroll had music pumped into practice.

Here’s the link.

The bittersweet spoils of victory, but good for Jake.

Props to Amber for coming up with the name.  I don’t have anything else to say, other than I should work more.

Lost in the shadow of the Huskies non-embarrassing debut is the fact the Seahawks kick off the regular season this weekend. Remember the Seahawks? The team that went to the Super Bowl a few years ago? One disastrous injury plagued season has scuffed the shine of the region’s most popular local team. This preseason didn’t exactly help, as Chris Spencer and Marcus Trufant suffered injuries that will have them missing most of the first half of the season (in the best case scenario). Walter Jones had two knee surgeries in 8 months and there’s a great chance the best offensive lineman in Seahawk history will retire before the year ends.  Add in the fact that no one seems to *really* believe that Matt Hasselbeck is really 100% and you’ve got an easy recipe for casual fan apathy.

But is it really that bad?

You never know what to truly make of preseason but the offense looked solid (if not occasionally spectacular) and Hasselbeck-to-Housh is showing potential to be a great combination. The secondary practiced addition by subtraction via cutting Brian Russell, and adding Lawyer Milloy should bring a little depth (and he’s still an upgrade over Russell). Tatupu-Hill-Curry is one of the best linebacker cores in the league. Oh, and trading for Denver’s 1st round pick in 2010 is looking like it might be the steal of the draft.

Still, perception and reality are different things. The Huskies look like they’re on their way back up (pardon me, I’m knocking on every piece of wood in my house) while the Seahawks are staring at a window that might have already closed.   Mora is a douchebag and hasn’t done much to alter his reputation as a player’s coach who never truly has control over his roster  He might only be able to truly make an impact as head coach for one year.   But look!  It’s year one!  Right now!  Wheeeee!

I ask Seahawks doubters to take one more look at their perfectly manageable schedule, to remember what a shitshow the NFC West is, and to exercise a little patience. The Husky rebuilding effort will likely be the dominant story for football 2009 in the northwest, but it’s a little early to bury these Seahawks just yet.  It’s ok to be excited for football on BOTH Saturday and Sunday… promise! More importantly, I’m ready to finally be able to debate whether Qwest or Husky Stadium gets louder. Whether or not both teams can overlap their periods of success is a debate for further down the road.

As we approach yet another Pac 10 football season there is much commentary on what each team has to look forward to in the coming season.  This is the time of the year for unbridled optimism.  To provide a little perspective in contrast to everyone’s rose bowl colored glasses, here is why your favorite Pac 10 team is a joke. 

Arizona Wildcats

Hey did you know that your coach is Bob Stoops’ younger brother?  Did you know that?  Well, if you didn’t know then let me be the first to inform you that your head coach is the younger sibling of one of the best college football coaches in the country.  In fact, your coach made a name for himself (well…. sort of) by working for his older brother at Oklahoma.   Isn’t that neat?  He also has a gigantic temper problem and can often be seen on the sidelines acting like a complete ass.  Kinda like a spoiled little kid who’s older brother has always protected him but happens to be out of town so that spoiled little kid has no idea what to do when a bully takes his lunch money except hop around, piss and moan, and just generally act like an assclown.   Yeah, he’s a classy guy down there.

Seriously though Arizona – you are a fucking joke.   You once played in the “Salad Bowl,” and you lost.  To Drake.  You’ve never been to the Rose Bowl.   That’s right.  Zero Rose Bowl appearances.  Ever.  Only school in the Pac 10 who can make that claim.  Nice work.

Arizona State Sundevils

That’s an awesome 8.4 million dollar “devil dome” you have there ASU.  Man that thing is sweet.  Good idea building a indoor facility for your players so they can get out of the heat sometimes.  What’s that made out of  anyways, toothpicks and glad garbage bags?  Oh and how long was that “devil dome” standing before it got absolutely owned by a windstorm?  1 month?  Nice.  Did you clear it with god before you constructed a fabric building named after satan in a region of the country prone to windstorms?  No, looks like you did not.

Your devil dome does provide a nice metaphor for the stability of your program though. 

(also – I gave Zona crap for losing the “salad bowl” to Drake, but you one upped them there didn’t you.  0-2 lifetime with losses to Xavier and Miami of Ohio.  Xavier hasn’t played D1 football since 1973.  Well done.)

California Golden Bears

Hey Cal, do  you guys have a tree I can live in?  Do you?  I’m in the market for a  tree that’s kinda close to your stadium.  A nice tree with good foliage and that may or may not be where you’d like to construct a few upgrades like a nice new weightroom.  If all  goes according to plan, myself and a few other tree hugging hippies who have no money or clout good samaritans will succeed in stalling out your improvement plans for several seasons.  Nothing says, “our football program has political juice in the University” like the inability to get a few people out some trees around your stadium.  Sure you can beat USC, but when it comes to tree-sitters, you get owned. 

If this was the SEC or Big 12 this tree sitter scenario would have lasted about 2 weeks.  One week for the alumni association to plan the “beer, brats, and shooting hippies out of trees (BYOG)” alumni event, and then one week to hold the “Beer, brats, and shooting hippies out of trees (BYOG)” alumni event.

 The last time Cal played in the Rose Bowl Alaska wasn’t even a state.  The last time Cal won a Rose Bowl our President was Franklin Roosevelt.  Anyways, your ‘resurgent’ football existence continues this year Cal.  I look forward to visiting your stadium soon and sitting on “tightwad hill,” where the joke is that people don’t even care about your team enough to pay to come into the stadium. 

Oregon

So my shoelaces on my new running shoes just snapped.  Should I call admissions or the administration to find out about where I can get a new pair?  No I’m serious, what about my running shoes?  I paid 115 dollars for these shoes but it appears that the kid in Malaysia that assembled them didn’t do a very good job – so I want answers Oregon. See if you can’t pull yourself away from your flatscreen TV’s and automatic frosted glass doors for 2 seconds to address the needs of the shoe-buying public. 

You know what else is weird?  I went to your football practice facility to try and evaluate this year’s team, but all I found were a bunch of guys with sewing machines.  I interviewed the quarterback, who  thought that the new wings on the shoulderpads were “Fabulous” and the Linebackers chipped in that the new white Uni’s were “breathtaking” and “stunning.”  I guess you know what’s important down there.  Oh and one more thing – your mascot is literally Donald Duck.  Want to know what happens when you search “Oregon Ducks Funny Pics”  on google?  Here:

Real nice.  Explain that. 

I leave you with this:

 ”Ducks are the college football version of Paris Hilton…they’re famous for no reason, they look pretty and they got a rich daddy.” – Kirk Herbstreit

Oregon State

Are you a Beaver believer?  Do you realize that your team mascot is a beaver?  How do you feel about that? 

A question I had for you Oregon State is what’s the deal  with your stadium? Why, when you remodeled it, did you only make it so that 1/2 of it is beautiful and nice and the other half looks like a high school stadium?  Further to that point, why when your games are televised, does it appear that the camera crews are only allowed to show the side that makes it look like you have a legitimate stadium?  Where are the panoramic views of “Reser Stadium” showing both the side with the nice seating, the luxury boxes, and the  2-tiered designed, across from the side featuring 40 rows of straightback bleacher seating?  What happened there exactly?  Why is one entire side of your stadium 1/2 the size of the other side?  Did you run into some construction problems?  Did too many Beavers fall victim to falling trees, causing construction to be halted?  Is that it?

Moment of silence for those Beavers who lost their lives in the construction of a completely unbalanced stadium:

I guess you might be a joke if you construct your home field to appear to television audiences as if it is large and in charge, but if you pan the camera just a little bit to the… “DON’T PAN OVER THERE…. DON’T!!”.. Oh ok. 

Stanford

Stanford, you have a problem with Shrinkage.   That’s right, you actually shrank your football stadium’s capacity and it still isn’t full of people.  Maybe you need to see your doctor about that.  Maybe you should playfootball in Maples Pavillion.

I did see that your band can take a tackle or two though.  How does it feel that the most famous play in your school’s football history involves your teams band?  How does it feel that John Elway’s career at your school ended with him on the sidelines watching “the play?”   I bet that sucks actually.  It probably hurts to think about even today.  My question Stanford is if you are so smart, why was your band on the field before the game was over? 

 Pull your pants up Stanford,  your shrinkage is embarassing.

UCLA

Hey, I know you.  You’re that other school in LA aren’t you?  The school in the nice area of town with the incredible basketball tradition and the coach who systematically destroyed the institutions where he was previously employed.  Yeah I thought I recognized you UCLA.  How’s that coaching thing going anyways?  Any NCAA violations yet? No.  Ok well just hold on a few months because they are on the way.  Let me ask you this UCLA, what exactly about your coaches reputation drew you to him as a coaching candidate?  Was it his nickname?  Slick Rick.  Was it the fact that nobody has heard from Colorado or Washington since he left those schools in a smoldering pile of ruins? Is that it?  I mean, I would  think that you feel invisible already seeing as you share LA with a team that absolutely owns the conference.  I’m surprised you would take the next step of leveling your own program just to make sure that people knew you were irrelevant. 

“FOLLOW ME.”

USC TROJANS

You know what I love about Pete Carroll, his energy.  He’s bouncing around practice, he’s yelling, he’s pumped, he’s having a good time.  Whether he’s talking to players or boosters or agents or steriod dealers or money launderers or ineligible high school kids, that guy’s message is always on point.  “We will cheat our ass off to win.”  It’s ironic because you’d think being in the largest market in the conference and having incredible tradition and a rich recruiting base to draw from would be enough to win straight up, but I like that you guys over at USC don’t leave anything to chance. 

And speaking of all that tradition at SC, how about that Heritage Hall.  You still have OJ Simpson featured there?  Of course you do, because you don’t care about the fact that he’s a cold blooded killer.  You care about the fact that he could really knife through a defense and won you a heisman. Stay classy USC.

Washington

Sigh.  You are a motherfucking joke of a joke Washington.  Your sorry sack got slashed and burned by Slick Rick, went on a wins diet with Keith “Slim” Gilbertson, and then watched as Tyrone Willingham came in and treated everyone and everything around your program like shit for 4 seasons.  You got punked by that guy.  0-12.  Nice. Fucking. Job.   Oh and then when you did fire him you let him coach out the season “for the kids” and let him air you out every chance he had.  Especially nice touch when he played the race card and said that minority coaches only get the “Downtrodden” programs.  Fuck I guess he’s right, when he showed up in December of 2004 it had  been almost four years since you won a Rose Bowl Washington.  FOUR.  I mean, imagine if you were like Cal or Oregon or Arizona and it had been 50 or 90 years since that had happened, or if it had never happened.  Think of how downtrodden you would have been then.

Yeah, you played your cards well there you sly dawgs you.  Your big plan for revival consists of robbing a bank and then robbing USC of half its coaching staff.  Good luck with that.

Washington State

If you can believe it, you are more pathetic than Washington.  Can you believe that Washington State?  You beat them last season and people still believe that you were the worst team in the conference.  How sad is that?  Speaking of sad, have you seen your stadium?  Calling it a postage stamp is being generous.  You cram almost 34,000 people in on gamedays, except when your team is bad and then it’s nowhere near that many.  WSU you have played a college football game in the past 3 seasons that had less people at it than a Syracuse basketball game.  Fail. 

Oh and it gets worse – you named your stadium after a UW grad.  How the hell is that possible?  Who was asleep at the tractor wheel for that call?  I don’t care how much money Mr. Martin donated to your school, when it comes to naming your football stadium, you don’t name it after a graduate of your rival institution.  If you want to name a building after him, fine, do it on campus somewhere far away from the sports complexes. 

When Ted Miller came up for a Northwest tour of the Pac 10, he  spent time at all the schools.  Washington, Oregon, Oregon State.  Yep, he got ‘em all.  Didn’t miss anybody.  Joke’s on you Wazzu.  

Booiooiiioooiiiiiinnnnnggggg!!!

YOWWWWZAAA!!

More Boner Jamz after the break!!

THEY ARE WEARING WHIIIIIITE!!!

Special appearance by Mateen Cleaves

On the way to a date-rape appointment.

Mateen Cleaves and Spirit

Oh Brother! This sure is one hot babe.

Mateen Cleaves enjoying seeing the sights of the city

My costume right now is Guy With Boner

Aaaand my dick just exploded.

Simple question: which single program is the most important to Husky Athletics at this moment? Is it still the flailing football squad? The basketball team with warning track power? The smaller sports that are suddenly getting done, or the crew program that quietly kicks ass and names names year after year?

Or the girls in short skirts with the fluffy puppy? Talk amongst yourselves…

Image: educationmax.com

The LA Times is reporting that QB Nick Montana has committed to the University of Washington.

Nick, the son of NFL Hall of Famer Joe Montana, is Scout.com’s #13 ranked QB for 2010.

This certainly takes a lot of the sting out of Skyline QB Jake Heaps’ commitment last week to BYU. Sark appears to be making good on his reputation as a California recruiter.

Nick Montana is a pupil of Steve Clarkson, a Cali QB guru who has worked with Ben Roethlisberger, Matt Leinart, Jimmy Clausen, Matt Barkley, and Terrelle Pryor among many many others. Jake Locker recently served as an instructor at one of his camps. Clarkson has received criticism for his role in the AAU-ization of college football recruiting, but results like that are tough to argue with.

Welcome aboard young Mr. Montana. I’m headed to a Mervyn’s to celebrate. Are those still around?

Here’s a Sportscenter feature on Nick’s high school, Oaks Christian, where his warmup act on the JV features Trevor Gretzky (son of Wayne) and Trey Smith (son of Will). It’s a regular game of Backyard Football down there.

The Guy Behind The Guy Behind Center (ESPN Mag)

Hey Sager, how much joy does this majestic giant glamour shot of a husky on a shirt bring you?  GOOD SWEET LORD I DON’T THINK THEY’VE CREATED NUMBERS TO ACCURATELY EXPLAIN.  Did I mention this shirt is actually for sale at the official UW team store?  And that you can get it in hoodless purple sweatshirt form?  Are they in on the joke that it looks like something Bret from Flight of the Conchords would wear?  Are they in on the joke that placing a picture-in-picture of a full husky body shot makes it look like those awful school pictures? You know what, I don’t even care if it’s a giant husky done to be “ironic”.  This shirt is delightful.  BUY BUY BUY!

Image: ncaachampionmagazine.org

Simply put, fuck you all. Fuck each and every last one of you. Seriously. Fuck you good and hard.

For the University of Washington Huskies are the champions of the Women’s Collegiate Softball Universe.

“But wait, Echelon, you don’t care about women’s softball!”

May I refer you to the first line of this post? Because I’m reluctant to as your butthole is still likely sore and stinging with stress lacerations.

I would like to let you know that I have been a fan of UW Softball from nigh onto 72 hours ago. And what a ride it has been!

Pictures of our heroes after the jump.

I tell you what, on Sunday afternoon while watching UW come up just short against those mashers from Georgia I was wondering if it would EVER be our year. Here I had been a fan for an hour and a half and what did I have to show for it? It was exactly like being a Cubs fan. Or rooting for the Jews in the late 30s. Just plain heartbreak.

Luckily I had that game on dvr and when it concluded I just flipped over to the nightcap and lo! We were winning!! UW to the final series!

Finally after three hours of being a fan I had something to show for it. It was about damn time.

I will note that Georgia senior Kristin Schnake went into a bizarre routine of smiling and laughing for the last two innings of her last game. Laughing at errors. Laughing at her inability to touch Danielle Lawrie in the 7th. I suppose she invoked Q Tip, “I really can’t say I guess I laugh to keep from cryin’…”

Image: totaluga.com

Not to get all “There’s no way this would fly if a dude did this”, but, there’s no way that would fly if a dude did this. Imagine if LeBron got all petulant and immature while losing a knockout game?

(Bad example)

Fast forward to Monday night and game one against Florida. UW went up big early on a hilarious slapstick effort from Florida’s catcher. She was attempting to get the runner at second following a two run single, and ended up airmailing the ball to the centerfield wall.

I’ll say it again: the Benny Hill Theme is never going to be Eye of the Tiger for any team that aspires to win a championship on any level. Just take my word for it.

When the night was through National Player of the Year Danielle Lawrie had struck out 12 in a two hit shutout and the Dawgs had annihilated the Gators 8-0.

Tuesday night. Florida got 2 runs in the top of the first. They threatened to score seemingly every inning. But the Dawgs had too much. Lawrie locked it down. And we won. After 72 hours of wondering, hoping, pain, joy, desperation, exultation – UW were the champions. It was the ride of my life.

To celebrate lets enjoy some of the dishes that brought home the hardware:

Morgan Stuart

Image: gohuskies.com

Personal fave. Adorable, with pop.

Kimi Pohlman

Image: seattletimes.com

You’re kidding me with this team. It ought to be criminal to be this good and cute. Her teammates say she runs like a deer, the pregame promo told me.

Lauren Greer

Image: gohuskies.com

Jake Locker’s squeeze. Hopefully she can teach Jake a thing or two about winning. Her hometown is Placentia, CA. Do with that what you will.

Danielle Lawrie

Image: seattletimes.com

“Hey! I’m the fucking best player in the nation! What are you going to do?”

Jenn Salling

Image: gohuskies.com

Salling transferred to UW from Oregon “because she wanted to play for a winner”. If that doesn’t melt your heart nothing will.

Congratulations to the Champions!!

Huskies win NCAA softball title (Seattle Times)

The gritty, unforgettable Huskies were an absolute ball to watch (Jerry Brewer – Seattle Times)

(I don’t really hate Jerry Brewer as much as other people around here do.)

The best word to describe this guy was a drip. With man-tits. Just a complete loser – unskilled, but ANGRY. He took it upon himself to repeatedly hack down our best player in the most ungraceful manner, who, of course, wasn’t going to take this lying down.

Stoner Ref (Guys? Can you like…guys?) wasn’t going to take any responsibility to punish these transgressions, so things got out of hand. Things really jumped up a notch – and quickly.

There may allegedly been a challenge to fight in the parking lot. The cops could have been called, hypothetically. 
But the fault lies with the douchebag. If you’ve ever played in a men’s league, you’ve probably encountered these guys. While soccer players can all be douche-y in their own special ways, these are the six most common archetypes of the men’s league D-Bag.

The Football Player

Now noticeably overweight, this guy played football (or thought he did) in high school. Side note: Just because you are now fat in your late 20s does not make you a “football player.” No matter how much you would like to believe that. You’re just fat. Sorry.

Anyways, the football player tries to make up for what he lacks in skill with INTENSITY. And is waaaay too intense for everyone on the field. He’ll usually start 1-2 altercations on the field by clattering into someone awkwardly and/or getting in someone’s face about it. Go join a rugby team. This guy is a complete and utter douchebag.

The Fat Guy Who Yells

If the average age of his team is x, then this guy is usually x+5. Generally some sort of middle manager at work, the fat guy thinks the ass-kissing he gets at work will transfer into the game. Sadly, on the field he is just another douchebag. You’ll see him rolling around the field, shouting instructions, and not playing defense.

This guy also likes to yell at the ref. Why? What’s the point? When the legs stop moving, the mouth starts. The FGWY is especially infuriating if he’s British, which seems to happen a lot.

The Guy Who Didn’t Wash His Jersey

The best way to create space. When crossed with the guy who wears sweatpants/jean shorts/polo shorts; a lethal combination of le douche sans un douche.

The Fake Gangster

Look at Johnny Tough Guy. This guy is a fucking prick. Usually younger, also sometimes with a shaved head. Can be a decent player, but talks a ton of shit while doing it. He needs to be brought down with the utmost haste. Doesn’t know how to take a foul with the proper modesty; everything is an affront to him.

Yes, you did get fouled…now move on. Nobody’s “got beef” with you.

Frank Lampard

Total. Douche.

The Diver

If the referee doesn’t take control of the situation, and he usually won’t, the diver can also cause a fight with his douchiness. Especially when he dives in the box. Nothing will make a team see collective red than a dive in the box rewarded with a penalty kick.

This guy is basically the equivalent to the guy who tries to draw walks in rec league softball.

The guy who wanted to tussle with us was a combination of this and the fake gangster (although, to be fair, he also smelled). 

In the end, cooler heads prevailed and we got out of there before the po-po showed up. But it all could have been avoided – in the end, a douchebag is a douchebag. My advice: deal with them harshly on the field, try to avoid a red card while doing so, and leave it at that.

1-800-562-6000

Plenty of reasons to support the passage of the bill, which among other things provides financing options for the renovation of Key Arena as well as Husky Stadium:

-Necessary to eventually force Clay Bennett to pay yet another $30 million for hijacking our team.

-Prerequisite for Steve Ballmer to step in and generously finance HALF of the new arena.  What a hero Ballmer is.

-The original bowl of Husky Stadium was built in the 1920s, by any measure that’s a fantastic return on investment, and overdue for an overhaul.

-You will never be able to get the construction done for cheaper than right now.

-Creates construction jobs.

-It’s not a new tax.

-Seems like politicians around here get famous for opposing things.  Let’s get something done for a change.

1-800-562-6000

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